In Singapore, a precursor to the marriage is the wedding, and everyone who has ever gotten married knows that that’s not one simple affair. The planning, the expenses, the combining of 2 into 1 and all that commercialised gobbledy-gook.
We’ve dated for a 7 years before finally settling down together and decided that we deserved a little alone time once we got married because we needed a break from the wedding. A chance to really just get into the rhythm of life and stabilise home life, financial status and career. So, John and I have been blissfully married for a year already on the 13th of April 2014, and we’ve been talking about family planning for a while.
While we were dating, we would talk as couples do, about the future and what would happen. We’ve got a bunch of names picked out for girls and for boys. We’ve talked about what kind of school do we want our kids to go to, what kind of sports we want our imaginary kids to play or instruments and languages and the whole works. But we were in no position to get started on things right away. Not when we hadn’t had our own place, not ever had a long haul holiday together, seen the world, bungee jumped, and whatever other crazy things unmarried couples do…
A year of careful and safe bedroom fun seemed to be in order, and with luck no accidents along the way.
It’s now very different when you’ve decided to have a go at it and lo, and behold! When we decided to stop protecting and just let the natural thing take it’s course, my period magically decides to do a no-show.
I’ve always been regular. As clockwork. I could almost pinpoint my period to the time in the day that it would appear. I’ve only ever been late a few times, and that was due to MASSIVE, MASSIVE amounts of stress prior to my period date.
So when my period did a no-show last week, I figured let’s give it a few days just to be sure. SURELY we can’t be so zhun (accurate) right?
John has mentioned before that he suspects that we’ll not have problems conceiving, but we certainly didn’t expect a “one shot, one kill” kind of situation.
The kicker was at this year’s Mother’s Day celebration on the 10th of May (5 days late at this point) where we brought John’s parents and my mum out for a buffet lunch and the first thing my Father-in-law says to me is, “Happy Mother’s Day to you. When will YOU be celebrating it?”
It’s been a tumultuous week thinking of the possibilities. Not that I’m envisioning birthday parties and dress up parties and play dates, but more to the serious side of things like the finances, the constraints of raising a kid in a HDB (Singapore’s local subsidised housing board) apartment, the lifestyle that we’d have to give up and most importantly, the responsibilities of another person’s life in your hands.
We’ve barely committed to the idea that we are ready for children and it dawns on you that thing’s are actually happening.
As of today, my period is 9 days late. I am pretty much resigned to the fact that I’ll have to put my tampons and pads aside to make way for pampers and baby bum wipes now, but let’s just see where things go..
trying to reign in my emotions,