Opinions Change

Weight: 58.1kg – what is up 😦
Feeling: Shaken and Stirred

Being pregnant has been eye-opening. Becoming a mother-to-be really changes your perspectives on things.

I was never one to be prudent. Although never extravagant, I generally enjoy indulging in things – who doesn’t right? Alcohol, the occasional cigarette. Doing something dare-devil and physically invigorating… Maybe a better way to describe things is that I like to try new things, and often.

However, now that there’s a life growing in my belly, I find myself shying away from such things.

I was talking to my husband last night about our packed social calendar. We’re horriby packed for the weekends. Birthday parties, dinner and lunches with friends… I was telling him that I feel drained and I hate that we’re so busy and can we not go out so much anymore.

Not because I’m introverted, although I don’t typically enjoy party nights out that often. I enjoy parties and socialising, but more like people-watching if you may. I enjoy imbibing liquor and getting a high that opens my inhibitions just a little. But it is almost as tiring as doing sales sometimes, the way we have to make polite chit-chat and paste on a fake smile and pretend like you’re having fun if you can’t find anybody who wants to talk to you, or worse, if you’re stuck in a boring conversation trying your best to stay interested and chip in.

Now I find that I don’t want really want to meet anybody at all. I don’t want to put myself in a situation where there are things that I can’t enjoy fully because I have to err on the side of caution. It’s not being anti-social. It’s just that I know I will be tempted. And then I will feel guilty because it’s not only me that’s going to suffer for one night of enjoyment, as innocent a sip of whiskey might have been.

nothanks

I know that there’re the loopholes like ONE glass of wine a day is ok, and no, you can eat sushi from reputable places and you can still exercise, just not strenuously (what IS exercise if not strenuous anyway?), and all sorts of other allowances that people have come up with so their lifestyles don’t have to change too drastically when you’re thinking, moving, eating, walking… for 2.

This article has further sealed my foray into a concerned parent.

The younger generation will truly not understand why someone would want to lobby for a ban on alcohol nor would they understand the significance behind it.

“Just leave them alone la”, “you don’t want to drink alcohol, then go somewhere else lor”. As simple as that it may seem, but the cultural indignity and mockery of religious beliefs is not something that I would want my future children to be ignorant or apathetic about;  even more so if it were our own religion.

Religious articles are generally quite sensitive topics but I do believe that God is directing me in this pregnancy to really dig deep and analyse my true feelings and thoughts. I’m quite intrigued to see how things turn out when I reread this blog once everything is over and find out exactly how I was moulded to change in this whole journey.

This morning was when I first realised that things had really changed. In the morning, our (not so young dog whom we still call) puppy pounces around the bed trying to get us to wake up. It’s more like getting me to wake up because the hubs is long gone and at work furiously replying emails by this time.

But today, for some reason, aside from nuzzling me with a fricking freezing-cold nose and pawing at me to get out from under the  covers, she pounced on me and with 2 paws, packed a pretty mean punch into my abdomen.

I was in shock! I really didn’t know what to expect. One hand flew to my tummy, and the other reached out to smack a resounding crack on doggy’s thigh.

I think I’m okay honestly. I just feel a little shaken. I’ll have to monitor for bleeding and cramps and stuff now and I am worried, and possibly over-thinking things again. But I’m hoping that the unborn is really a lot more hardy than that. I’d be quite upset if baby is too fragile even while being encased in all my tummy fat.

Doggy is fine too by the way. *attempt to make light joke*

When I was in my teens (and I was a cynical teen), I used to look at pregnant  women  and wonder why da hell they were cradling their bellies when it was obvious and all out there for everyone to see that they were pregnant. Not that people would miss a protruding tummy the size of a watermelon right.. Even more so if the woman was barely showing and were still flat bellied, who are you trying to impress that you’re pregnant? You trying to get a seat on the MRT (train system in Singapore) issit.

give up your seat

Now I know what all the hype is about.

This morning’s slap (in the belly) really got me to thinking and I realise that I sometimes do find myself idly stroking my tummy; especially when I’m just about to fall asleep. And sometimes during the day, on the bus and just sitting at the computer typing, I’d think about whether my posture is ok or if my hunch is squashing my tummy into a weird position and so the baby too.

full

It’s a little funny though since the baby is barely the size of a grape right now. But as always – better safe than sorry right?

Maybe it’s my maternal instincts kicking in or something, but I know for sure that something in my brain is changing and not just because my body is.

Getting into it,
Jess

 

 

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