Feeling: flustered and kanjiong (nervous and anxious, eager for something to happen)about finding a gynae
week 8! Officially have the right dates now! Time to start looking for weight gain now I know how far along I am!
So I took a break yesterday from posting because the husband was on MC for a massive pounding headache. we figured that since he had a weekday away from work, we would go see the gynae on the Friday instead of waiting to walk in on a Saturday morning when her office would surely be full.
We went after lunch and after hubs had a bit of a rest and headed to Mount A for an obscure clinic on the second floor. I’m not going to disclose the name of this gynae who was a recommendation by a pediatrician from my church to my mu,. I’m doing so purely because I’m not going to be using her as my final gynae so I don’t have the full understanding of how she handles her patients but for the reasons following soon.
First things first was taking general vital signs upon reaching and registering at the nurse’s counter – BP, date of last period, allergies, etc… normal doctor things. After which, we truly did have to wait for about half an hour being walk-in patients, which was actually not too worrisome considering what we anticipated. That’s normally what happens in all doctors’ waiting rooms anyway right – wait for ages to go in for a minute or 2 and be done..
Well, when we finally got to meet her, the obgyn was actually a lovely old lady to be honest; probably older than my mum but calm, reassuring… definitely experienced. She sat me down on a high lounge-cushion thingy. What was interesting about the high cushion-thing was it had a sliding drawer to “extend” the leg portion. From what I’ve actually seen in movies and serial dramas, I half expected stirrups to pop out so I could “mount” myself into the chair. I’ve obviously been watching too much TV, and I obviously have the wrong perception to what goes on in gynae’s offices.
After I got semi-mounted, we launched straight into the ultrasound. No questions, straight away cold gel and rubby rubby. and Voila! Picture!~
Wee! First ever baby pictures!
There was actually a fair bit of shuffling around my tummy looking for the unborn’s heartbeat, but we were pretty impressed that we could see little stick-out thingies that are meant to be baby’s hands and feeties.
It was rather overwhelming really. I DIDN’T cry or anything, but it sure put a lot of things into perspective that there’s really something in there fer realz.
Just for information here too, I made sure to check with the Doctor that there was only one in there – Lord knows we didn’t want any surprises. After double confirming said information, she tapped a button which printed out above picture and told us to have a seat so she could run through what other tests were required for the baby.
So there’s an OSCAR (‘One-stop Clinic for Assessment of Risk for Fetal Anomalies’) test that’s done at week 12 to test for Down’s. You can get it done at Thomson Med, NUH and Mount A. And you can find out more info about what the test does here. KKH calls it the Maternal Serum Screening and you can find out more information here.
On the spot, the hubs and I discussed whether or not we wanted to go for it, since I knew that some mummies (and friends) didn’t go for it. You’re going to love your child anyway, and apparently the test isn’t fool-proof either. Even with a negative result it’s not a 100% guarantee that your kid is going to be ok. You’re only going to know when the baby is out and tested in the living world.
The obgyn reasoned that sometimes it’s just good to know? so that you can be prepared. It obviously doesn’t mean you need to go for an abortion if you don’t believe in that sort of thing or whatever, but being able to know takes a big pressure off no matter what you decide when the results come out.
And of course there’s another scan a lot later in the pregnancy which I will worry about later because I’ve got another 10-15 weeks more to go before that test is even in the vicinity of my pregnancy. She didn’t mention anything about gender scan though, so for that I suppose I’ll have to check in with the next Obgyn that I go with.
Throughout the whole thing, the obgyn was talking about things in a very surface level kind of context. Nothing much to prepare us for what’s to come, and only talking about what was going on in the now. I got a little antsy but stayed calm because having been warned by my hypnobirthing buddy to expect general dissension against Natural Birthing methods, we knew that we had to ask more in-depth questions to get to the bottom of things.
And unfortunately, or fortunately that we asked, because the minute I tried to clarify what the Obgyn’s impression of “Natural Birth” was that I got almost completely shut out by the Obgyn who sounded as if she wanted nothing to do with the vile and heathen practice
Yeah that’s pretty much what she did. She basically said, “Aiyah, why didn’t you say earlier, then we could have saved you the time and money and you could have gone straight to the other doctors who handle this kind of thing.”
SUPER far cry from her original mantra of “My job is to help deliver the baby and return you a healthy mummy and healthy baby to daddy after everything is done.”
I feel so cheated and rejected!
The feeling I got after that was like, you got so much business you don’t want mine, then OK LOR.
But to satisfy my curiousity, and because she was referred to me to try by people, I wanted to make sure I gave her a fair chance to explain why she thought hypnobirthing or rather the whole concept of natural birth is so repulsive.
She replied to my dissatisfaction that she’s just “Not used this sort of practice.”
She was adamant that we find another doctor who knew what he was doing, pretty much shut me up at every turn, and didn’t want to answer any of my questions about what to expect or the like. She kept saying that we can come back if we decide that we want her help in the future.
By this point, husband and I were pretty fed up and we figured we’d just cut our losses and go find another obgyn. She says to feel free to come back and show off our cute baby if we’re ever in the vicinity. What do you say to that? Good-naturedly we went “Erm okaaay..?”
Heading out to the nurses counter, we paid $220.
$70 – Consultation
$150 – Ultrasound Scan
That’s fair I suppose, except for the fact that the clinic ONLY accepts cash. We quickly went to draw money and hightailed it outta there.
We had driven all the way out to the CTE (Central Expressway), complaining the entire way when we found out that we didn’t get any vitamins that she said she would prescribe. That’s when we checked the receipt and realised that she didn’t even bother to prescribe the damn vitamins to me because I said I wasn’t certain that I wanted her to be my obgyn.
Let’s just say that I’m happy we’re not using her and I don’t have to see her again.
I don’t want to be mean but I absolutely HAVE to retell that when I said we had also considered Paul Tseng who as I posted about previously is one of the few doctors in Singapore who are known to be pro natural birth, that she said: “Oh he’s quite handsome ah. Like Christopher Reeves.”
OMG. WHO still thinks Christopher Reeves is hot?
You’ve got to be pretty ancient to think that’s who the “young people” think is handsome these days…
But moving on. I went back home to bitch about the total unacceptance of our birth plan by this particular Obgyn to some friends and my hypnobirthing lady and was rather shocked to hear that a lot of mummies don’t really know what a real natural birth is either and they think that an epidural is fine and as long as the baby comes out of the vagina it’s considered a natural.
I’m sorry but I can accept that using forceps and vacuum might still be considered, but the minute you go into surgery and/or use drugs, that’s not natural anymore.
Maybe I AM a purist 😛
I’m not entirely stupid though. If any lives are in danger, and obviously surgery is the ONLY way to make sure everybody gets out of the labour ok, then by all means. But neither do I expect the doctor to jump straight into drugs and slicing me open just because there’s a twitch on the heart rate monitor, you know what I mean?
I also understand that doctors who don’t want to practice natural birth are most likely afraid of malpractice suits and being criticised for not acting on time to save mummy and baby.
But in any case, I just have to say that the worst argument I received from the whole thing was that people used to DIE in childbirth because they didn’t want to have surgery. I was really quite agitated and worked up at that moment so I pretty much lost it and said when was the last time that seriously ever happened!
People die from having surgery all the time too you know. It’s always better to go without invasive therapy and not just that but if people died from childbirth all the damn time, then how the hell did people have kids in the past when there wasn’t medical technology?
I jokingly told my husband that if we don’t have a doula and he had to function as a midwife and the baby really does have the umbilical stuck around his/her neck, he just needs to shove his hands right up in there and untangle things.
Well. honestly by the look of things, we’ll just have to start with keeping up the search for a obgyn that we feel comfortable with and that will hopefully accept our choices in natural birthing. We read that Dr Paul Tseng has actually accepted doctor swaps up to 36 weeks in, so I am trying not to get too worried in the meantime that I can’t find a doctor.
Because Dr Tseng is apparently REALLY expensive, we’re not too keen to go looking for him yet but we know that to secure him early is prudent and that it’s also just in our best interests to be on top of the whole booking and reservation system that doctor’s have.
The plan is that we go for another referral in week 12 with my friend’s Obgyn on the 28th, then if that goes awry, we’ll go look for Dr Christopher Reeves.
Taking it slow,