am i fat or showing?

Weight: 58.1kg
Feeling: not here and not there.. kind of all over the place


Week 13: is that fat or am I showing?

I’m a little worried about my weight this week because I really have not been putting on much, based on what I see on the scales every morning. it’s okay to be nervous about it during the first trimester apparently because of morning sickness and lack of appetite and everything, but I know that I’ve been eating.

By the looks of today’s photos it looks like the bump is totally starting to come into its own too! For the past week I’ve actually been contemplating a lot about the bump and the unborn. Because we’ve chosen NOT to have the 16th week scan, we really won’t see progress on baby til week 20 (when we also find out the gender). That means that we won’t know how the baby is doing until then.

But in any case, I was looking at my tummy and for a while I was wondering whether it was fat or whether I was really showing!

See I used to be FAT.

then (mid 2011) & now (May 2014)

THEN (mid 2011)        &      NOW (May 2014)

So I’m very well versed with what tummy fat folds are like.

Anyway, given the gift of Google and we’re bombarded with a tonne of FORUMS where people are asking the same thing. (Surprisingly, there are not REAL articles on whether what you’re seeing is the baby, or whether you’re just piling on the pounds. )

here is an example. and here.

My opinion? that area of the belly is a little bit more hard. not as squishy as it would be if it were fat. so it’s probably baby. or my fat is solidifying into place. GAH!

To be honest, It’s not that hard to believe you’ll be putting on fat instead of baby bump to be honest. Because when you’re growing for two, you tend to allow yourself to eat for 2 too. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m still steadily 58kg and not getting that much heavier, I’d say that it’s got to be the baby absorbing all that food and fat i’ve already got on my body and transferring everything to the tummy region.

It’s a bit unsightly at this stage, but friends guarantee me that it’ll get better, i.e. look better and fit into clothes more obviously as a pregnant woman as I get bigger. (that sentence in itself, does NOT sound right).

Well, as long as my appetite improves, I hope I’ll start to see a more obvious baby bump in the coming weeks. In the meantime, the husband gets to eat the stuff that I can’t seem to stomach, and he’s (quite nonchalent about) joining me on the journey to roundness 😀


I’ve also been feeling a lot more easily  winded recently and I’m not sure what that is about also to be honest.. In the beginning of the pregnancy I was already feeling myself getting a bit short of breath easier than compared to normal, but the winded-ness that I’m suffering from now is totally a different level man.

See I stay on the 4th floor of an apartment where there is NO LIFTS. That means ever since the hubs and I moved in a year ago, we walk up 4 flights of steps EVERYDAY and walk down 4 flights of steps everyday to get in and out of the house. No issues once we got used to it until this pregnancy.

When I first started getting winded, it was after walking up all 4 flights that I started noticing I was panting and breathing a little heavier than normal. NOW? It’s like 1 flight of steps and I need to catch my breath, or go really, really slowly :/  Really makes you wonder how the hell people do exercise in this state..

stairs fail

Starting to feel like the first trimester will never end even though on paper it says it’s over 😦

Well, time to start totally making use of the “privileged” state I’m in the get all the priority seating in the MRTs whenever I’m on public transport hey. For the time being when I’m not showing enough, I’ve been advised to rub my tummy very meaningfully and carry around pregnancy books to read while on the train so that people get the hint. HOHOHO

Speaking of which, I am now reading a total of 2 books and listening to 2 CDs. I will update accordingly when finished reading which will hopefully be soon, if i can find the time between my online writing gig thing and everything else.

Here’s what I’m reading:

gf's guide to preggers

mongan hypno

And with that, I’m launching into a discussion about our first hypnobirthing class yesterday! From now onwards, weekend posts will have a little (hopefully short) segment about what went on for class – more to help myself rememeber what i’ve learnt and also for me to look back on as the day draws nearer

hopefully it won’t make up the bulk of the post as we get move through the weeks. in any case there are only 5 classes so you won’t have to suffer too long 😉

Hypnobirthing – Class 1

Today’s class was more of an introduction to how and why people have chosen hypnobirthing as their method of birth.

After bit of a history lesson, of which I managed to get how some of the different historical evidences showed that people were being forced by a certain medical procedure to give birth in a certain way – with anaesthetics and assistance.

Women were actually being SEDATED and put under for their labours and they didn’t really get to witness the true moment of birth. Husbands were also DISALLOWED from the delivery rooms and they were either sent home to wait for news of the birth or for some progression in the labour (aka cervix widening so that the actual moment of birth would be closer), or left to their own devices in the corridors of the hospitals, waiting anxiously with a round of cigars for buddies while listening out for the announcement of “It’s a ________! (insert sex of baby)”.


Grandfather’s story

One woman recounted the story of her father who waited in the hospital waiting room while she laboured with her first child (his first grandchild). He waited patiently, as he had with his own children, out-of-the-way and isolated. He listened to her labour sounds, nervously reading the sports pages for distraction. Soon after the woman’s daughter was born, he came in and held his granddaughter. The woman noticed expressions of love, awe and regret flash across his face. He later shared with her that he had held his first grandchild sooner then he held any of his own children. Such is the legacy of our past generations

Freaking ass heart-wrenching.

I don’t care if the husband faints at the moment of birth, but I hope that he’s in there with me. Emotional support is #1 on my priority list for when the time comes man!

In addition, there’s a helluva lot of dramatization going on on TVs these days about how there’s a lot of screaming and shouting going on during birth and all that pain and suffering going on apparently. And that just makes women more and more scared of the actual process of giving birth.


Now again, just go Google for Hypnobirthing videos and watch the moment of birth. It’s almost eye-poppingly amazing at how little expression and hooha there is with these women who are using the method.

My mum actually tried Lamaze in her day, but she told me that when push comes to shove (literally) and the pain hits you, all that you’ve learnt is going to fly out the window.

Well, with all the stuff going on about how everything is going to be so damn painful and all, if this hypnobirthing even helps a LITTLE bit with lessening the pain and helping my baby have a next to natural bringing forward into this world, then I’m going to just give it a go and cross fingers and hope that there’s truly as little pain as they say.


yup well, moving forward, the class really was mostly introductory, but we did do some rather interesting hypnosis exercises which truly helped the hubs to see to witness the power of the mind of body – some stuff about imagining tasting lemon. (hint: descriptions really help when you’re trying to visualise)

I did some of the exercises before so they weren’t as effective listening to them the second time round, but I remember the reactions that I have the first time, so I’m totally looking forward to class #2 next week for more practical thingies to try out at home on my own time.

Well anyway, our assignments for the week include reading the Hypnobirthing book (above) and listening to 1 or 2 CDs as much as possible to learn some techniques so that’s what we’re gonna be doing for the rest of the week.

head pump

Just a little secret – listening to a bit of the CD last night, TOTALLY put me to sleep! I bet it’s gonna be good for my (Sometimes raging) insomnia. Doula (who runs the class) says that if that happens then good! Maybe you can fall asleep during labour too 😀  – seriously don’t know if she’s kidding here.. she also follows up by saying that there is no way you can fall asleep during labour because your body releases a cocktail of hormones so that you AND baby are aware of everything.

Drat and Double Drat.

In any case, i also totally hope that I can get through enough of the book/CD to have a little bit of knowledge for next week’s lesson :X


Putting myself into a relaxed state for the next week,



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