Weight: 59.0kg – racking up the pounds baybeh..
Feeling: perplexed and confused… It looks like I’m horribly ill prepared for the nature of birthing..
Week 16: Looking back on the past weeks’ photos, I’ve noticed more actual timmy and less bloatedness! I still can never believe how much the belly is growing until I see these photos every week. It’s really quite.. MAGICAL.
So this week has been rather a bit of a mad house because I keep having some last minute things to take care of for work and clients.
I’ve been taking the opportunity to tell the people whom I’ve been meeting about the pregnancy and it’s been rather interesting breaking the news to the clients and also the freelance “bosses”. It was always the one thing that I thought was important to do in pregnancy – let your bosses know that you’re going to be out of action. Bosses meaning the actual people who govern your pay at work – in my case it’s my actual boss who hired me and helps me with issues that need to be escalated, and the actual clients who pay me when they buy something (via commissions).
My clients have been SOMEWHAT happy about the pregnancy. There are the standard congratulations and I obviously make it clear that this means I will be out of action or rather not so active come next year when baby is out. I don’t really know what they think because the ones that I’m concerned about telling are the clients who originally started off as cold strangers. Like people I basically met only when I was trying to sell them something…
Well anyway, when I was considering whether or not I wanted to stay in this business at all, I actually asked around my friends (who were my clients) about whether they would mind terribly if I up and left as their agent and started life anew somewhere else.
I had some friends who were telling me that it’s really my choice. I had to be happy doing what I wanted to do. And they would support me whatever I chose to do.
Then there are the friends who told me even more honestly that even if they didn’t agree with it, what could they do about it right? And the others who would just put on a smile that didn’t reach their eyes and say “yeah. Good luck in whatever you choose…”
Well, there’s really no pleasing everybody and honestly speaking, there also is no consensus on what the attitude SHOULD really be to a pregnant woman. Much less one that handles all your financial details and stuff. It can’t be easy to lose an honest and trustworthy and WONDERFUL agent like yours truly *ahem*
I tend to be the kind of person who thinks about as many of the parties involved and what they think when certain things are done and not done. It’s part of my over-thinking nature to make sure that I say and do things which are pointed and hopefully obvious in meaning. I try not to mince words and to not drag things out, “try” being the operative word here…
More importantly, I hope that when the time comes for me to teach my baby about what he/she should be doing when it comes to telling people things that may change their opinion of him/her, that he/she is able to think of others as well, and also to follow his/her heart. To trust and ASK God for guidance and to not regret his/her decisions after everything is said and done.
That’s one of the things that parents want for their kids right? That they don’t regret the things that they’ve done. That they are pleased with themselves. And that they grow up to be trustworthy and responsible individuals. Self-sufficient. HAPPY.
I am gonna be such a sappy mother, aren’t I…
Hypnobirthing – Class 4
Right, so this week was… TRAUMATISING. not quite. but in the sense that I find I am ENTIRELY UNPREPARED for this baby to come out.
Now I’m not going to gross you out with all the icky details. As I mentioned a few weeks ago that we watch birthing videos at the start of the class, I’m now somewhat numb to the blood and gore that occurs when birth occurs, but heck, you can’t learn everything from a video.
And it was extremely evident in this week’s class when we are learning a lot more about what exactly happens, what the husband needs to do when you’re trying to get yourself into a trance-like state and focus on your boy and the baby..
It was quite technical this week –
- how do you tell you’re really having labour and it’s not just labour “practice” (or Braxton-Hicks)
- Stages of Labour
- When do you go to the hospital
- What if things don’t move along
- What can you do while waiting for the baby to get moving down into the birth path (or canal)
I’m obviously not going to go through everything. It’s mad.
I’m not even going to go through the birth plan that the hypnobirthing schedule. What the schedule is about, is that we are supposed to have a read through and note down items on the list we would like the doctor and other healthcare professionals attending (midwives/nurses) to take note of.
What is a birth plan?
A birth plan is a document that tells your medical team your preferences for such things as how to manage labor pain. Of course, you can’t control every aspect of labor and delivery, and you’ll need to stay flexible in case something comes up that requires your birth team to depart from your plan. But a printed document gives you a place to make your wishes clear when you have a choice.
For example, besides the stuff that’s in the birth plans below, there are these 5 questions which we kinda narrowed down to specifically ask the doctor’s opinion about and to specifically also include it within the birth plan –
- Can I move around during pregnancy Or am I confined to the bed
- How long before you “move things along” / How long are you comfortable for me to be in labour
- Can I eat and drink while I’m in labour
- When will you induce or call for “further measures” (like a C sect, etc)
- Are you going to carry out an episiotomy or allow me to tear
- How hands on are you during birthing…..
It might seem like it’s taking the whole natural birth thing a little out of hand, but it’s important to think about WHY you’re doing things this way. I mean, natural is natural, but what are the implications of doing things one way or another?
Whatever your reasons may be, why you’re doing a birth plan is because you NEED your doctor and whoever else is going to be looking after you to BUY IN to what you want for your baby’s first experience into coming into the world.
Like what I was talking about last week’s posting about how baby knows exactly what is going on outside of the womb while he/she is still in there, apparently what happens is that babies can be SCARED to come out because he/she senses the environment is not “welcoming and it will sort of cause your womb (and cervix) to seize up and baby just wants to stay right where he/she is.
And that in turn causes difficulty for the labour and the birthing process. Then doctor will say there are problems then induce la, medication la. etc etc etc….
Here’s a good online checklist you can take a quick look at and print out. But do take note that some of this stuff really doesn’t apply in Singapore and is actually country specific for their practices..
Here’s another that you can print out and check on your own time.
Take note that what you really really want to do is:
Find out ALL the routine policies and procedures for “mommy care” in your birth setting. If you do not agree with a policy or procedure, you should discuss it with your health care provider. As you learn more about what to expect, you will likely identify details that you want to include in your plan.
Personally, I don’t have any affinity for my doctor (yet) so we’re really just waiting for the day when our next scan comes around on week 20, which is about another month to go. Then we’ll whack the doctor with all the questions.
Here’s hoping that we really don’t have to search for another one. I truly don’t want to keep looking for doctors who will support me and the hubs for what we want for our baby’s birth.
At the end of the day, if the doc buys into your plan, the last thing that you need to remember is that you need to ENFORCE what you want. Just purely having things down on paper and endorsed doesn’t mean that things will happen as you wish it.
Okay, not that the nurses are like that, but in some hospitals, they are so used to their SOP (Standard of procedures) that they forget you have special requests (and a lot of them, if you’re anything like me :P)
Anyway, it’s a good thing we learnt about the lists earlier on in our pregnancy because these are not just any decisions you can make off the cuff.
So with that, we move on to a new week with a lot more to think about and a heckuva lot of things to plan. Next week will be a break for Hypnobirthing coz it’s National Day! A little more time for thoughts and one final lesson to teach us all the more about end stage pregnancy and what else we need to prepare for as baby gets ready to enter the reaaaal world…
Wish us luck as we think through them and work a good plan out huh?