Tired, of everything.

Weight: 60.1kg And we’ve hit the big 6..
Feeling: Overwhelmed.. so many things to do


week17

Week 17: The turnip baby is showing!


 

I bet you thought I wouldn’t be updating this week! Well HAH! I’m posting on a MONDAY because I like it ūüėõ

Anyway, it really has been a horribly hectic weekend, such that recently I’ve really just felt like in sick , play the pregnancy card. and refuse to do anything and go anywhere. Sit at home and play up the condition and be pampered a little bit hand and foot.

It’s probably going to be the very last time that I get a little alone time and that I don’t have to look after anything other than myself for a while anyway right? By the time bub comes out, it’ll be a world of nappy changes and breastfeeding and taking care of the tiny life that the husband and I agreed to be responsible for for the rest of out lives.

Goodbye self, hello family unit.

snuggy family

I don’t entirely think it’s quite THAT horrible, but for some reason, I’ve just wanted to be a slug and be slobby at home. I don’t really want to go for anything and I just want to sit at home and not worry about anything like where I need to go to buy what groceries or baby necessities and I don’t want to meet people and answer the same questions about pregnancy over and over and over again…

And I sure as hell didn’t feel like coming on to blog and to pen down all the caustic thoughts *gasps*

I just wanted to lie down and stare at the ceiling for the whole weekend and be sorry for myself ¬†because ¬†the husband and I have so many things that we NEED to do but don’t want to.

i don't want to

To be honest at the end of the day, we know that we have to live up to our responsibilities and although it does seem much easier to tell everyone a little white lie and not go out., we worked up the energy to get off our asses and get changed and step out of the house. Eventually we recognize that I can’t just stay at home the whole damn day. Going out would at least give me a break from being so listless all the time…

It isn’t all that bad really. ¬†In spite of the amount of activity we had. Meeting people and getting congratulated was as expected, but it was good to catch up with relatives and friends. Also it was sweet to see all the concern that everyone was showering on me. It really made me appreciate that there are so many people who care about us and the unborn so much before the little bub is even born.

family love

My mum’s older sister specially made fish for me when we went over for dinner on Sunday evening. My mum’s older sister is kind of like a surrogate grandma on my mum’s side because my maternal grandparents passed away when my mum was pretty young. It was an important reason that we had to just get on with all the things we planned because we wanted to make it a point to see them.

Sometimes I realise that I¬†just haven’t made enough¬†effort to be around more family recently and it really doesn’t take a lot to drop in and chat a bit with your relatives .

Well, even though I didn’t expect it, we got the VIP treatment – I got extra helpings of awesome home-cooked food that brings back good childhood memories. And it’s something to be said about feeling loved when you are amongst family. Especially when in the Chinese tradition you just kinda let the elders in the family eat their fill first before you can go at the dishes on the table.

It just goes to show how much the people around you love you when they put you ahead of themselves…..

At a separate family gathering, there was even an announcement about another baby arriving sometime early next year – a few weeks after ours. Looks like the unborn will have a cousin to play with when he/she is out!

future bffs

Anyway, I ended up having a short by interesting discussion with said¬†husband’s cousin’s wife who is a Frenchy about what she’s eating and not eating. I’ve been rather unhappy (to say the least) about the number of restrictions placed on my eating habits while pregnant and is was super refreshing to hear her point of view from the French culture as well as just hearing different opinions from other people. She was also awfully concerned for me although she was (almost) just as pregnant as I was..

Writing all that down makes me think about how it’s selfish to think of myself. I complain a helluva lot about how grumpy and depressed and angsty people really frazzle my nerves and how I want to smack some sense into them, but here I am making the same fuss about not wanting to do anything constructive for myself.

In all equality and fairness, I’m sure that aren’t having all that great a day either.. Nobody is all revved up and ready to go 365 days of the year, so we should at least do what WE can in order to make the world a less gloomy place i.e. be more accepting and supportive of people around us because we don’t know what they’ve been through before that moment.

all colours and flavours

I think it’s a rather interesting cycle of depression and/or laziness to be frank. I do truly want¬†sometimes to succumb to the whole “I wanna give up” feeling.

It’s so much different now that I’m living for the baby now. There’s just a higher purpose to doing everything now. My problems seem a little bit less important. The priority is to make sure I do what i NEED to, instead of what I want to. So up off my ass is the order of the day. And it helps to have people who love me around and giving me that loving support I need to get out of bed everyday to fight the good fight.

nowhere but up

So here’s to a brand new week, of new challenges and more days of difficulty getting out of bed that I will conquer. More news soon!

Fighting onward..
Jess

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s