Growing with or without me..

Weight: 66.9kg woot!
Feeling: Less worried now that baby is a kicking machine… 😉


week28

Week 28: Bigger and Bigger and falling over sometimes because of it too…


OMG I feel like a balloon, and my back feels like it’s going to snap because the balloon spreads its wings and wants to fly away from the rest of my body.

The bloatedness is fer realz this week around and it’s really not funny. I’m also waddling for real now. I can barely touch my toes in the morning and it’s a real bitch to pick things up off of the floor 😦

At the same time, I really can’t quite complain about my increasing girth and inflexibility. I’m actually more happy that my weight has gone up so substantially 🙂

It’s been a struggle to REALLY eat because the last few days I’ve been thinking about buffets, and teppanyaki, and sushi and cajun food and the places where you can get all that stuff are actually pretty high end restaurants. (Or at least the foods that I want to try would PREFERABLY come from higher end restaurants anyway)

Family-guy-gif-ice-cream

But I’m grateful. The weight gain was just as I thought that it should be 🙂 and the weight reassurance really couldn’t come at a better time.

The obgyn postponed the big follow-up visit on Saturday and when I received the call on Friday I can tell you that it wasn’t nervousness or anxiety that I was feeling – it was pure fury.

WHY, would anybody in their right mind want to put a worrying first-time mother-to-be through more worry and hassle than they have already by giving her news to worry about, and THEN delaying a chance for all the worries to be diffused through the follow-up?!

I mean seriously, it’s not that I was looking forward to this check-up, but it would have been a weight off my shoulders if we could just get it over and done with – heard what the doctor had to say about whether there was an improvement with baby’s weight or what and even if there was bad news to be heard, at least we would have gotten that out-of-the-way too.

Now they’ve set us down a path of a WHOLE extra week of worry and what ifs because they couldn’t see us.

FURIOUS.

rage

BREATHE…

Okay, to be fair, it’s because apparently doctor was under the weather. They also wanted to schedule us for Tuesday which was 3 days after our original appointment. But why he needed like the whole weekend PLUS an extra 2 days is entirely beyond me. I mean he’s a doctor, he can’t be 5 days worth of sick can he?

ANYWAY, there’s nothing much else to be done except to sulk and keep doing what I’ve been doing for the last two weeks – worry and eat.

The only time I’d probably be comfort eating and not feeling guilty about it I suppose *looking on the bright side*

potato and vodka!

But yeah, I’ve also been getting quite a lot of reassurance from friends and family. I especially want to just take a few lines out to thank the people who’ve taken the time to send me messages or sms-es of encouragement the last 2 weeks when I’ve really been quite worried about everything. It’s really helped me a lot to just push the worries aside and continue to do what I need to do.

In any case, like I was saying, baby is really getting a lot stronger and with that hopefully healthier and bigger as he needs to. The kicks I feel every day are really just so encouraging.

So encouraging that I found myself giving advice to a lady on the mummies forum I always talk about when she was panicking about not being able to feel her twins kicking inside her at 15 weeks.

Ah, brings back memories of my own paranoia I can tell you.

Do you remember the time...

Do you remember the time…

But yeah, I think there’s really only so much worrying that I can do anyway. At the end of the day, it’s really all in God’s plan and intended to make me more stronger and resilient for when baby comes out.

Speaking of which, it’s also dawned on me that all things probably do happen for a reason.

The worry and anxiety are part and parcel of being a parent. Something that we just can’t escape because when baby is old enough to walk around, or shove stuff into his mouth, as parents we’re just going to be worried about whatever he or she does – we’re really not experts at it and probably never will be – we can only do the best we can.

I mean in response to those particular circumstances, we’ve just got to be careful about baby-proofing the house. And vigilant to watch for changes in his response times and behaviour… OMG, I sound as if I’m really expecting some DISASTER to happen. CHOI. & TOUCH WOOD.

said it wrong

Anyway, a lot of friends say that when you’re watching your kid, you don’t want to coddle them too much either. And I do talk to the hubs about how protective we’re going to be when baby grows up. Like we don’t want to monitor his every move. Letting him wonder around the house and figure things out on his own, letting him explore his surroundings and his toys…

A few years ago when we went to visit a close friend of ours and we were having a conversation on the adults’ table, her little girl comes toddling out and she took a spill in her excitement to get to mummy.

I tell you I was horrified! #1 for how much it probably hurt the baby, and whether there were scrapes or cuts or what and #2 for in case the baby would start wailing and bawling and pretty much need like an hour or so to be soothed and put back to rights. If that was the case, we might as well call the entire visit over and go home where we wouldn’t have to suffer ear-piercing cries and screams.

oh-no-you-didnt

Ho Boy, you can tell I’m totally not saying this stuff right considering how close I am to being 24-7 caretaker of a monster of my own like that… GAH..

*sidetrack story* – the hubs and I also agreed that we were going to try and stop swearing in front of the baby once we realised we were expecting – we TOTALLY don’t want baby to pick up F-bombs and S-words from us at all, not even while he’s growing in the womb. But DAMN IT’S HARD!! I’m going to be hearing “Oh No You Didn’t!” A LOT in the next few years as I try to temper my potty mouth 😛

But anyway, what people are supposed to do when their baby’s fall down actually ISN’T to run straight to them and go “aww you poor liddle baybeee, wet mummy wub your widdle booboo for youuu..”

NOPE. NONE OF THAT PLEASE.

just stop

You are SUPPOSED to treat the fall like it’s an everyday occurrence and mummy and daddy won’t make a big fuss of it EVERY time you fall down.

Apparently making a big fuss about booboos is just not done, unless you want baby to learn that he can get attention whenever he falls down. Then you’re going to have to deal with him turning it into a much bigger fuss than it actually is. Which unfortunately will lead to baby dragging out the cajoling and cuddling after a fall EVERY TIME.

Please no.

Anyway, if we can’t teach baby to be a tough baby and give him a bit of free reign when he’s young, I don’t want to imagine what kind of a crybaby man he’s going to grow up to be….

I’m also pretty sure that an over-controlling mother turns kids into very resentful and spoilt brats.. I don’t even want to think about what’s going to happen when he turns into a teenager and starts being able to talk back to me and his father*shudder*

don't talk back to me

Well, all my imagination running away with me is well and good, but all of that is nothing much that I should be worrying about to be honest, at least not for now at any rate. And I’m better off not over thinking about the personality of my baby too much until he’s out.

One step at a time right? So I’ll just weather the coming week and keep myself busy and eating and hope for the best in the week to come.

Just wish me luck and support that I won’t let myself regress into worrying sometime along this week again… I could really use a week of calm and peace :/

Keeping things light hearted,
Jess

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