Weight: 67.4 kg it MUST be the heat because I’m sweating BUCKETS here.. No aircon = die.
Feeling: A little concerned and thoughtful about the future.
Now today’s post really isn’t going to be so much about the baby, but just a simple reflection on the future.
It’s probably going to be a pretty heavy topic, so here is a silly, absolutely no-reason gif to lighten the mood before we begin:
How can you not feel good seeing Patrick being silly.
I went to the ENT on Tuesday like I said. I had a scope test up my nose (that costs approx $300 ) and that was accompanied by the most HORRENDOUSLY tasting anaesthetic medicine nasal spray because the stuff that goes up your nose kinda eventually drips down to your throat.
Anyway, the whole procedure was rather intriguing to watch. I sit in a chair in front of a little TV screen and the Doc and I get to see exactly what’s going on inside my nasal cavities! Wee! A tiny bendy wire with a little camera and light at the en d goes up and INTO your nose and right down the back of your throat. peeking into a dirty little part of yourself.
And boy was my nose dirty. Lots of mucus and sick strands of STUFF *Shudder*
So I had a pretty stubborn case of Sinusitis the doc said, BUT the good news here is I don’t have structural issues. It’s really just a whole bunch of being congested due to water retention from pregnancy.
While I’m glad I don’t have some inherent problems, that means no surgery or other expensive further tests and invasive whatever you may have, but it also means I can’t really claim for whatever procedures I had done to determine things.. I opted not to have more antibiotics prescribed because unfortunately even if the mucus and sick issues go away, I’m still going to feel blocked on one side and then the other at some point, just because the fluid retention is going to make things so.
So I paid my exorbitant bill for 5 minutes of insight into my nose and left to go for lunch.
So with the doctor’s diagnosis in check, I really started to think about things long and hard.
I’ve not exactly had a perfect childhood, not that I regret any bit of it, but because my dad passed away from a brain tumour when I was 6. So without a 2 parent income, money was quite a bit tough for us. It was lucky for us that we had a bit of money aside for when my brother and I turned 21, and also from the insurance that my dad bought, but yes it was a struggle.
My mum herself has had her run in with health, having a mastectomy AS WELL AS a hysterectomy.
I’m not feeling generous today. Go look it up 😛
Given my family history with disease, I’m surprised actually that the past has in no way influenced my own journey to do what I do now, but hey, if anybody reading feels obliged to buy insurance and protection policies, hit me up.
But more important than that, is thinking about what the impact would be on baby if and when the time comes for health to take a bad turn for me or the hubs.
Doing what I do, I see a lot of people who only start to get interested in getting something to cover themselves when they get married, or when they start having children. Simply because there’s a greater implication that it’s really not just about you anymore. You’re no longer an island, and that there are people who are seriously counting on you.
Insurance and protection plans aside, it’s never easy to lose somebody in the family in whatever way – divorce, running away, emotionally distancing yourself and most permanently through being called home to be with the Lord.
For me, I don’t really know how to put this into words when it really hit me that I have to start thinking like that now.
Obviously there was a big contemplation when the hubs and I got married. But we had our parents to thank for whatever plans were already installed, and obviously as an agent, I had to uphold my end of the “bargain” with my clients and show that I believe in my own products too. So we were pretty much set for life.
In any case, as adults, as devastating as a loss of each other might be, we would still be sufficient to a certain extent – able to work, able to continue earning an income and providing for ourselves and whatever. Sure we’d not want to go on living with each other, but we could.
Kids, on the other hand, CAN’T.
They are just simply not equipped to do things at their age to be independent in the world without their parents.
I KNOW that there are beautiful examples out there of kids who really step up to the bar, helping out at home and being hands on with chores and taking care of their siblings, but that’s really not the point.
I mean, how sad is it to think of your kids having to grow up before their time and not having a proper chance to enjoy their childhood 😦
If anything, it makes me really want to take care of my health and make sure that there are proper provisions. As morbid and depressing and serious as this topic may be, as a parent I think that it’s important to think about such things just in case it does happen as opposed to if everything goes all peachy keen.
Short of listing all sorts of other disasters here that could happen *ahem not enough money for things ahem* **CHOYYY!!!!!!!**, I think it’s really important to think about where God’s hand is in all that happen to us too.
At last night’s cell, our discussion contributed a lot to this deep thought that I’m having today. We were discussing about why sometimes, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people but in the end, God allows everything to happen for a reason – his Glory. And whether or not we like what we receive, there’s somehow a lesson to be learnt in everything.
I just hope that as a parent, I’ll be able to shed my immaturity and complacency for the will to teach my child the right thing – to trust in the Lord with all his heart and strength no matter what’s to come. Because there’s nothing more reassuring than knowing that somebody has a plan for you and can see the bigger picture.
It doesn’t matter what we’re going through now, but more importantly what we can learn from the situation and take with us in our life’s journey.
GAH SO DEEP AND OVERLY DEPRESSING.
So, heavy topics aside, there’s truly “a lot 2 think about” when it comes to having a baby. I’m just glad that at the moment I have an outlet to express myself and share my thoughts.
Until the next heavy discussion, I’m gonna go and think of something a little more light-hearted, like count baby’s kicks this morning or something.