Mind your Language

Weight: 69.4kg and we’re still maintaining! WOot!
Feeling: A bit too relaxed, the weather is just too yawn-inducing!

So today I seriously forgot that I was supposed to post anything until it hit like lunch time. I had actually prepared a fair amount of writing on notepad on my iPhone yesterday while I say in an auditorium listening to company updates and the like already, but for some reason, when I finally sat down at the computer, all thoughts of blogging flew out of my mind.

I swear it’s the weather going on.

December rains and cool winds make you feel like jumping right back into bed and not doing anything else for the rest of the day.

Or it could be pregnancy brain..

stupid brain

BUT ANYWAY, moving on…. I’m going to rant. Don’t say I never warn you.

SO today’s post was really about how I’ve collected a lot of comments across the spam of my pregnancy and I’ve truly reached my boiling point.

I NEED to share my irritation with you all!!

My last straw happened a few days ago on Monday, when this lady from my office (LFMO) bumped into me with her LV handbag. She must have had bricks in there because she backed up into me and it HURT. And it was a pretty hard bump at that. Right in the belly. Just left of my navel.

She barely even turned around to apologise until I swore and groaned but when she turned around, it was as if a lightbulb switched on and she realised that I was a pregnant lady. Then I tell you, did she ever turn on the feels.

“OMG you’re PREGNANT?!”

Well, no ma’am. I’m just fat..

Jackie-Chan-Meme

*side note: there are SO MANY memes of Jackie Chan, but sometimes the original is the best :)*

Well…. Somehow, besides the blinding anger for her ungraciousness and sudden turn around, I managed to give her the laser beam eye of judgement while telling her that “it was okay” – which I was just saying so that she would go away and leave me to stew in my hate for uncaring, blind people who anyhow bump into pregnant ladies.

After realising she couldn’t make me say anything else, she slunk away into the shadows.

What was interesting, was that there’s a little rainbow at the end of this pot of melting fury because at Wednesday’s big auditorium gathering thing, the LFMO managed to somehow track me down in front of hundreds of other colleagues to ask me how I was doing and express some concern.

It was at this moment, that she asked me “So how is your baby…”

And I’m like.. *blink blink* “Err, I really won’t know because the baby is inside. I’d have to go to the doctor to make sure that there’s no lasting damage…”

*excuse the sarcasm*

sassy

After getting over my initial shock that she had managed to find me, we had a pretty pleasant parting where I told her “it was okay”, again. But actually meaning it this time.

I was actually very pleased and happily surprised that she made the effort to come and find me and apologise. I’m obviously still a little miffed at her, but a LOOOOOT less, after that little episode.

So that kinda got me thinking about all the other silly things that people have ever said to me that has seriously made me look to the heavens for help.

I’m going to share with you what I mean.. and hopefully by the end of this, you will be as flabbergasted as I am because honestly, what do people reply to some of these things?!

(1) “WAH! You are so BIG already huh! “

There is NEVER. I repeat – NEVER. a good time to say that a woman looks big. Even of she is bursting with child literally going to explode any minute. Hell don’t ever comment on a woman’s body at all unless it’s obviously meant to be a compliment.

Given the circumstances with the bub being small too, I truly do NOT appreciate comments about my stomach being small either. It’s OBVIOUSLY not a compliment and more like a jibe at whether I’ve been eating enough and/or feeding the baby.

shut up

Okay, honestly, the #1 above is so far the only statement that has made me see red. The rest below are a lot more tame so I do realise that again, sometimes people just mean well and maybe they are excited to say something.

There was even this interesting forum thread about how people are just enamored with the fact that you’re expecting a baby and they just absolutely feel the need to touch/rub your tummy, say something to express their excitement. And apparently it gets worse when the bub comes out. Because then, all the old aunties all want to CARRY your baby.

This is back to tummy rubbing again and how it’s inconsiderate to think that the pregnant woman / mother might want to be seen as public commodity and fussed and fondled.

*shudder*

Have some personal space people!

making me uncomfortable

So in that light – of people just being exciting to say things, such that NONSENSE starts spurting out, here are a bunch of things that I’ve thought were okay to comment about and that I’ve closed one eye on. They were more like old wives’ tales and gender prediction. Not spoken very tactfully from where I’ve received the comments from, but not as hate-inducing as the situations above.

  • “Your nose. Very big already. MUST be a boy. When I was pregnant, my nose was huge too..”
  • “Heartburn? You know thy say heartburn means lots of hair you know!”
  • “HAH! I KNEW you were going to have a boy, haven’t I been saying that since day 1?”
  • “Oh, I wouldn’t know, I never had that when I was pregnant.”
  • “HUH, didn’t you go through -this thing or that thing-?! It was the bane of my existence when I was expecting!”
  • “Don’t you want to do -this thing- in this certain way?”

Yeah, I get that these are just really naggy naggy comments and they are not severe in the least. But for some reason, they just really got on my nerves when I heard them!

It also seems that the people who tend to make the faux pas is not just restricted to the men, or women who have never been pregnant themselves (who both were the majority, but not the only people making inappropriate comments).

It’s like somehow the ladies who’ve ever held a baby in their bellies are ITCHING to say these seriously irritating statements at somebody else. Like let’s share the irritation together. I suffered, now you shall suffer too! Muahahaha…

….

47083-Neil-Patrick-Harris-Speechless-Li37

Well, I don’t suppose I could ever rid myself of listening to some of the (to me) thoughtless comments, so I will have to build a resilience and hold back my inner bitch from saying or replying anything snarky.

On another note, I’ve got to start cutting down on my swear words too, but that’s another story for another day.

It’s a big challenge that I really need to start taking on now because I know that I need to set a good example for my bub and not be an acid-mouthed person. I mean, I would like my baby to be witty, but not to be too judgemental. Obviously only the best will do for him and that includes how he carries himself and how others perceive him.

The more I show that I am irritated with what everybody says to me, the higher the chances that he will take after me and emulate my actions. I’ll admit that I’ve built up walls of cynicism over the years that have started to cloud my perception of people around me. And that makes me a rather difficult pill to swallow by some – like this blog. You either love it or you hate it.

love it or hate it

More importantly, I’ve got to let my bub make the choices of how he’s going to perceive the people around him, when to hold his tongue and when he’s going to speak out and say something against or for others.

I just hope that in parenthood that I’ll be able to do a good job of giving him the basics without letting my own view of things skew his thinking too.. And for that I’m glad that I have my hub, who is a helluva lot more grounded than I am, next to me being an anchor and sounding board for how we’re going to raise our child together.

Wow, how’d this ranty post get so deep all of a sudden!

Anyway, thanks to this blog, I’m glad that I’ve been able to put my thoughts down and get some rational analysis of the nonsense that’s going on in my head. Without which, I’d probably have let myself go ahead with thinking that raging on others for saying seemingly innocent things was okay.

And that being said, I will be trying my best to temper my thoughts and snarky words. If you’ve got nothing good to say, then don’t say it right?

can't say something nice

*side note: If you never see another post again, you’ll know why. HAHA*

Kidding.

Can’t get rid of me that easily,
Jess

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