Feeling: like a tomboy all over again
So the baby has really started moving a lot lately and I’ve been trying my best to help him discover fingers and toes and how to get them working right. But lately, I’ve been thinking that mummy is being a little TOO rough with baby.
He’s actually pretty strong. As evidenced by how hard he slaps his hand across our faces when we’re sleeping in the same bed, and how he kicks his legs against our chest when we lean in close to nuzzle his tummy or change his diapers.
Trust me when I say I think he’s going to make a pretty fine kicker of some sort when he starts playing ball games. He’s nearly close to winding me with his limbs as it is…
For example: Whenever our bub is on the play mat, I kinda take hold of his feet and have him slip and sliding across the floor. Instead of picking him up to move him, it’s kind of a drag-sort of movement? (Gawd that sounds horrible :X)
And of course throwing him up in the air to make him giggle and feel weightless and also generally giving tiny shoves and pushing and tipping him over when he’s learning how to flip to and from his tummy.
What about all that stuff about how toddlers are eventually going to find a way to shove dirt and sand into their mouths and Lord knows what other unsavoury things just for the fun of it later on in their childhood anyway so does it matter if his binky drops on the floor and I don’t wash it off and sterilise it?
What about if I lift him up by his hands without supporting his neck and body. Kind of like an airlift. It’s supposed to help the bub train his arm strength and grip and more importantly, he seems to like it and doesn’t complain when it happens. I don’t quite think anything will dislocate and it certainly doesn’t look like it hurts when his face lights up while he’s dangling…
The nicer term for it would be helping him to explore himself and all the different things in the world that seem so new. But for some reason, I don’t find myself being as cautious as a first time mother is supposed to be. Like I’m supposed to be all no doing this and no doing that and please don’t let him __________ (fill in the blanks).
They say that a first time mother is supposed to be over protective because they are just worried about how their babies will react to the world and what if the world hurt their precious baby.
While I do feel that way a little, I’m not about to put a stop to my son being given the opportunity to go through life without feeling like he’s on a pedestal and I certainly don’t want him thinking that he’s made of glass.
But since I’m actually the one who’s tossing and manhandling and not being too overly concerned with him being exploratory with everything, I’m just worried about maybe I NEED to be a little more protective?
Someone has even commented that I’m pretty “steady” for a first time mum, to which I was honestly thinking ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
In all honesty, I’m pretty sure that the bub’s papa is
a little WAY more gentle and cautious with him and I find myself feeling irritated that the husband is going to be the overprotective one.
That is definitely over thinking things I think.
But moving on, thinking about how I handle the bub has got me to thinking about whether in turn, my handling will affect his physical development too. Should I be leaving him alone more or continue giving him nudges and pushes to help him along
What with all the articles about how bumbo seats affect the baby’s hip development by forcing the baby into a sit when their bodies just aren’t ready for it, or pulling him up to a stand when the baby can’t even roll over and/or crawl, it seems that there’s a huge dilemma about how exactly the baby should develop – assisted or naturally.
In short, the articles all proclaim the good news about how we have to let nature take its course and for the bub to figure out his limbs and his strength on his own, but like what I posted last, does that mean that I should leave him alone?
Surely parents are meant to do a little bit more than to leave their baby on a play mat to figure things out right? We’re supposed to lend a helping hand and show them how to do things. If we weren’t supposed to do things like this, an entire profession of teachers and professors would be made redundant because people would just… FIGURE THINGS OUT on their own.
(Actually that’s a pretty awesome concept if people were really that intuitive… But I digress…)
My latest thing to do besides the flips and stands is to learn how to prop himself up in a sit. Every morning I’ve been taking “pillow shots” where the bub is leaning against blue pillows so that we have a sort of “daily” montage, kind of what we did with the tummy shots to see how fast he would grow.
Anyway, he’s kind of gotten the hang of leaning back against the pillows in a recline, but it isn’t fairly called a sit because it’s supported. So I’ve been teaching him to sit with his legs bent and leaning forward and helping him with his hand placements so that he “tripods” himself in a sit position.
I don’t know how babies could possibly figure things out like this on their own if they are left to their own devices but I can see why it’s important for them to understand how to solve a “problem”.
It’s about getting their little brains working on a solution which is to sit up on his own. And that being said, do I really let him figure it all out on his own?
How much should I be teaching him and how much should I let him learn on his own?
I figure I have to be sitting by him round the clock with ABCs and 123s eventually so perhaps now I can just let him be. Let him roll around on his own and learn how to be more independent.
In any case, the bub is still young, barely four months of age. He’s going to go through the rough knocks of life eventually so why shouldn’t I be a little more carefree with how I handle him now?
If I treat him too gently all the time, then he will be forever fragile in my eyes. That goes for germs and cleanliness and the like too I suppose? The body develops resistance when they are exposed to more things after all right? That’s why dogs and cats in the home help babies to be stronger in terms of immunity.
That’s not to say I’m going to let him kiss sick aunties and uncles and he’s certainly not going to get anywhere near to windows to climb out on ledges and I’m definitely not about to dangle him about by his heels or tossing him on to the bed just because I think it’s okay for him to be rough-housed a bit.
At the end of the day, I’m hoping that I manage to get myself into a bit more of a system with this. It irritates me to no end that I’m so uncertain about how to handle the baby when it comes to his development.
I hate being so lost at this parenting thing, but I suppose it’s something that all new mummies and daddies will go through and for the time being, I’ll just have to wing it
A very inconclusive post today so say the least. But I would really love comments today. Whatever it is, I just hope that I’m not the only mum out there who’s okay with being chor lor (haphazard, unladylike) with their kids…
One eye on the bub at all times,