Feeling: Run Ragged by the bub
So last Friday I had another whole day meeting thing which meant that I couldn’t post anything for an end week update again, but it’s given me a little time to just be with the bub and entertain him a little.
However, for the amount of effort I’m putting in trying to keep him occupied and learning to entertain himself, it seems that this week he’s developed a bit of a separation anxiety complex and a NEED to be carried persona.
It makes me wonder whether I’ve spoilt the bub by carrying him all over the place. But honestly, what else are you meant to do with babies if not carry them right? Plus they smell so good and it’s so nice to cuddle with them!
I took a shower today because I’ve started exercising again and you know how people get when they’re all sticky and gross after a workout? Well, I wasn’t about to carry my nice and clean baby with all the perspiration and sweat on me. So I brought the bub gingerly to the master bedroom and lay him on the bed while I went to take a shower to cool off.
Barely had I lain him down that he started wailing his head off.
The baby crying might not seem like a very big deal though. The big deal is that I let him.
I let him cry for the duration of my relatively hurried shower of about 5 to 10 minutes and tried to will myself not to rush out of the shower to comfort him.
But of course, once I was out, I gave him a little cuddle, and lots of pats and a big bear hug to let him know that I didn’t abandon him for a bath, my heart just a little shattered and guilty for leaving him alone like that.
While he doesn’t flip and roll around, (meaning he’s not in danger of rolling off the bed), I think that he’s learnt that crying and screaming bring mummy and papa a-running to his aid and he is a little attention seeker this one.
Where he used to be content with staring at the ceiling or rolling from side to side, it seems like he’s gotten bored and is no longer happy to just lie.
And I don’t know what it is, but it seems to me, that sometimes I need to learn to let go a little and let the baby cry a little. Especially when it comes to me needing to go to the toilet or getting a little something done with him around.
I was talking with a good friend of mine and we were talking about how some mums were a little overly concerned about how to take care of their kids.
I mean. I’ve done my share of reading and I’ve seen the posts on the forums about the pros and cons about doing (or not doing) certain things and right now, I’m just a little torn between what I should be doing.
For example, I know some mums who were advised not to rock their babies too much if not whenever bubby wanted to sleep in the future, they would require the same rocking motion in order to drift to lala-land. Or at the very least, the need to be carried to sleep.
Then there’s the things that we read about ourselves and agreed that we needed to do our best to follow as well – no putting hands in the mouth and no watching TV until bub gets older….
A whole lot of restriction and caution for a little baby to handle isn’t it?
See the hubs and I decided that no hands in mouth and no TV until he’s at least a year or 2 old because we don’t him to learn bad habits and get enthralled by the television.
We’ve read a lot about thumb-sucking causing bug teeth and of course saliva-smelly and wrinkly fingers and I’m pretty sure I wrote about this a while back about how I saw one of my friends employ a last resort youtube video, (which was educational, mind you), to stop her bub from crying.
The minute the program was put on and her child SWITCHED OFF.
Like a zombie.
So that was something that we agreed we would hold to for as long as we could so that our bub would grow up with reasonably good hygiene, teeth and brain cells intact.
But I have been thinking about why there is a necessity to restrict the child so much test days and I sincerely think it boils down a lot to the “Terrible” incident (as it shall henceforth always be called).
Ever since it happened, I’ve been second guessing my decisions and wondering whether I’m being too harsh and controlling. I guess my worst fear about being a parent is turning into an over-controlling dictator.
But I understand that while I want to be a hip and cool mama, that I’ve got to set the limits too.
The difficulty lies in where the boundaries OUGHT to be set. Since there are so many schools of thought about the good and bad and the pros and the cons of a certain method of education and amounts of exposure that you should give a bub to something, it’s near impossible to figure out what you’re supposed to be doing.
I mean the simple example would be about DIRT.
Dirt is bad. Full of germs and bacteria and keep that stuff away from my baby at all times! Heaven forbid that the bubby eat something “unclean” and their vulnerable tummy gets infected with some bub. Hello puking and diarrhoea.
On the other hand, pristine environments mean no exposure to germs of any sort and no immunity. The next time the bub goes out, there is just so much susceptibility to illness because the bub’s body just doesn’t know how to deal with the stuff having not encountered it at all before.
I mean, of course I’m not about to go to any one of the extremes, but there should be a good in between that we can go to right? Dependent on how comfortable a mummy or daddy is with either limit of course…
As it is, when the bub’s pacifier drops on the floor at home, we don’t really bother with rushing to the sink to get it rinsed out anymore. But if the binky dropped while we were out and about, I think things would be a little different and we’d probably wait until we can get to the nearest bathroom to get that sorted.
I’m just being a little thoughtful about what the best way to go about figuring out where we stand is because the more I think about it, the more the difference in the way each generation thinks makes me feel like I could be a little more lenient when it comes to letting the bub do certain things.
Again, it’s not as if our folks purposely did things differently in the past. They certainly did their darndest to bring us up as best as they knew how. And it just so happens that times change, more studies are done, information is disseminated better and the youth of today change everything.
*this gif wasn’t quite what I had in mine to post, but it’s so awesome!
In any case, I am slowly figuring that a person is only a baby for a few short years of their lives where when they do certain things, it’s not deemed unacceptable in public and whatever they do, even fart and poo seems cute.
I mean honestly, sucking your thumb could be seen as cute when a kid is like 2 years old, but would really be quite creepy, and demented if you were still doing it at age 20. You know?
Anyway, if the bub can’t enjoy sucking a few fingers now and then, then when can they right?
But again, it’s a lot about restraint, and not indulgence. It’s not about letting the bub get away with everything that he wants to do and limiting him. Teaching him when the right time to do it is. When it’s acceptable and when it’s not.
And that’s as much of a learning point for mummy and papa as it is for the bub.
That being said, maybe it’s really time to go back to the drawing board when it comes to entertaining the bub with electronic devices like the TV and the iPad hey?
Soon. But not yet 🙂