Feeling: Accomplished and Emotional
I am going to be reminiscing today. The bubba turned 6 months yesterday and we were just looking at some of the old photos that I had in my phone and remembering what it was like when we found out we were going to be parents.
We’ve truly come a long way…
Yes, we added a new couch in the process too! Haha!
Pictures like this make me sort of miss the days when he was still tiny and meat hadn’t filled in his bones yet.
These days, he’s getting so independent and he’s starting to show his character and personality and there are no other words than AMAZEMENT at how he’s changed and come so far from being entirely reliant on us for everything.
So while we are looking at him growing up, I thought it might be important to look at what I was thinking and see if anything had changed.
I mean, DUH. Of course things had changed. But it is good to stock-take and examine yourself once in a while I think. It helps you to look at what your attitudes are and see if there’s a lesson in it somewhere for you.
I took the time to flip through the multitude of posts that I’ve written in the past year and some of the things that I wrote about really seem light years away, now that the bub has been born.
- “I was never one to be prudent. Although never extravagant, I generally enjoy indulging in things – who doesn’t right? Alcohol, the occasional cigarette. Doing something dare-devil and physically invigorating… Maybe a better way to describe things is that I like to try new things, and often.
However, now that there’s a life growing in my belly, I find myself shying away from such things.”
From Opinions Change, May 30th, 2014
- “I have a feeling eating clean might really help a lot. Right now it’s mostly the thought of oil that’s giving me the heeby-jeebies. But also it might make it easier for my tummy to process whatever goes in.”
From Wassup with my Body, May 27th, 2014
- “I’ve been trying quite diligently to rub moisturisers and creams on belly and boobs to make sure I don’t suffer too badly from the curse of the stretch marks also. I’ve heard they can hit HARD after pregnancy, so I’m also crossing fingers that the massages I’ve had are doing something for the stretchability for the skin.”
From Rested & Relaxed, July 5th, 2014
- “At the end of the day, do you really want to risk if any of the superstitions were true? (not that they are, some of them are TRULY ridiculous and entirely NOT scientifically backed at all, whatsoever) But I do have to admit that I get a little twinge of what if…. I have to conscientiously shake if off and look at the hard facts.
At the end of the day, leaving things to God and doing my part as per my above list of moderation and partaking only from good sources, things should suffice. I’ll be a little more cautious I suppose, but there are some things that just truly speaks of my intellect if I believe in it”
From What will be, will be, July 22nd 2014
Amongst MANY, MANY, MANY other posts.
And of course, there was the delivery and the whole drama surrounding that. But let’s leave some dissecting to do when the bub turns 1 shall we.
Around this time last year, we were just discovering that a little life was growing inside me and we were about to be parents. We flipped out of our heads, went through all the what-if scenarios and settled down and decided that we WANTED to be parents and to bring a baby into the world, borne of his and my flesh.
For one thing, the baby has already arrived, and we decided that if we were going to do this, we were going to do it wholeheartedly. No regrets.
Although I’m pretty sure that in the early days, I lamented a LOT of things. Not being able to go out and drink and enjoy myself with nary a care in the world. There’s just something to be said about having to be responsible because somebody else depends on you.
Can you believe last night for some reason, for some mad reason I was thinking about if I ever had the chance to bungee jump, whether I would do it or not.
Yes, I’m over thinking again, and for some reason unknown to me, my brain flits between all these weird possibilities.
But back to story proper. Wondering about whether I would put myself into harm’s way for the fun of it all, and the answer was surprisingly a big resounding NO. I just couldn’t see myself going for a joy ride anymore because, what would happen to my family if something happened?
I mean short of having adequate insurance and all that. But seriously. What would happen to my family and to my son if something happened to me because I chose to put myself into a situation that I might not come out of all healthy and all that.
Don’t tell me about the chances of bungee jumping and sky-jumping going awry are as close to none as can be, because the point is that by signing up for it, a person is deliberately putting his or her life in danger.
And to be honest, most insurance companies, probably won’t pay out if something DID cause you to die from whatever extreme sport you thought was okay to participate in.
Okay, honestly, anything can happen to you even if you’re walking on the street, but it doesn’t quite make sense to increase the odds of something happening to you right?
Not if you have something to live for anyway.
Being a parent has really changed the way that I’ve looked at things, for sure.
It’s no longer just about me and what I would want to do. And it’s all about my son and how I can give him my best and let him have the best start in the world that I can possibly give.
Eating healthier, setting good examples, my looks and fitness, the lack of sleep, everything and all of it revolves entirely around my child. And I’m not ashamed to say that I’m loving it.
There’s a long way more to go of course. And certainly I will still have my days where I will wonder what the hell I got myself into and have a fleeting thought pass my mind about what my life would be like had I not become a mum. But that’s just part and parcel of the whole process isn’t it?
I remember the beautiful boy that the good Lord has blessed the hubs and I with and it becomes clear.
I don’t think I could imagine not having him.
And in the end, all the worrying about how I would take parenthood fades away. What matters more now is that I live the life of a parent and take each day as it comes.
The journey is meant to be savoured. Through good and bad.
So while it’s interesting to see how my thoughts have changed, all the memories that I’ve yanked out of the bowels of the internet to do a little reminiscing on, should remain exactly where they are. Because we’ve only just begun writing our history together 🙂
Whatever may come, we leave it to Jesus and do the best that we can.
Here’s to enjoying the outcome of my decisions and making the most of it. After all, there’s more to life than regrets and what ifs, over thinking and worrying 🙂
Loving every moment,