Feeling: Sad and Incompetent
So in the last 1 week, my son has fallen off the bed not only for the first time, but then again another time because of my “negligence”.
Or at least what I perceive to be my negligence..
Obviously I’m not purposefully letting him crawl himself off or just leave him unattended. But children are wilful. It seems the minute my eyes are closed or my back is turned, the bub seems to get himself into trouble, and leave me all the more feeling guilty for it.
But it seems like I’ve got to really just start getting myself prepared for the eventuality that worser things are probably going to happen to the bub.
Hopefully not, of course.
He’s actually fallen out of his bouncer before as well when he was learning how to sit up and we hadn’t realised that he was able to do that yet. He smartly tipped himself out and unto the floor and promptly started wailing his little lungs out 😦
My poor heart.
But the fact that he’s still getting used to his limbs and his balance and finding his way around, means that a few nicks and scrapes are inevitable.
After it happened though, many of my friends tried to be supportive and reassure me by telling me about how resilient children actually are. Apparently, I’m not the only one who has had their baby drop off the cliff of a bed. *PHEW*
Besides that, I got to thinking that other mamas have surely somehow dropped their babies while they’ve carried them before too and felt a mess afterwards…
Of course, our little accidents aren’t as serious as that, but I mean, for one, he’s a boy right? And although I am not a boy, if I recall what it was like when I was a kid, I got into my own fair share of painful owchies in my youth that led to skinned knees and grazed shins.
There was one particular time that I was swinging while hanging on to my parents’ hands. Just a little game: 1-2-3 SWIIIIINNNNGG and repeat. When I swung a little too hard and landed up thigh deep in a drain and a huge nasty scrape all the way down my right thigh.
I learnt pretty quickly after that not to be so garang / heck care / foolhardy, nonchalant / caution be damned about things….
But moving on, what more so for the boys who are meant to go a-exploring in the bush and the grass and drains and get into rough and tumble wrestling with their friends and generally do all the sporty run-about things.
Hell, his father was a rugby player and I’ll be damned if the bub isn’t silently urged and encouraged to engage in that sport too. Haha.
It’s the camaraderie and “fighting together in a team” and working together towards a goal but….
Can you say hello concussion?
That being said, I suppose that I’m all game for my son to explore the big, wide world and get himself a few battle scars of his own from fighting with the pavement, or his bike, or even from blindly walking into a few table corners.
Which I will be child-proofing post-haste, of course.
Of course, as long as he’s not fighting with people and other kids or animals, I don’t think I’m going to be too bothered about the bumps and bruises that my bub is going to sustain.
After all, childhood really is all about being allowed to explore and get hurt and learn from the situation so that they know what pain is about and can become smarter and not do it again.
That’s life. Getting yourself into trouble and learning not to do it again.
Said friends said that after a couple of times rolling off into oblivion, their babies learnt rather quickly to slow down and look both ways as they neared the edge of the bed. Of course I hope that it doesn’t come to having to roll off the bed a few more times before he learns his lesson, but you get the point.
And what’s more, as much as I’m going to be telling him not to touch that hot iron, and not to stick his fingers inside the socket and to please look where he’s walking, I don’t think any child is really going to listen to his parents when they say not to do something anyway.
But I’ll still try of course 😉
Even so, that’s no excuse to ignore the safety of your baby and to do your best to protect them from something happening.
That means basically having to develop eyes at the back of your head and a few extra sets of hands that can reach out and catch said baby from falling down on to the corner of a step for example or into a drain…
Sigh. If only it were so easy to protect your baby from harm….
In any case, it’s particularly applicable to do your best at protecting your child when it comes to sitting in the car.
What with all the talk about the proper way to put a baby into the car (rear-facing of course) and making sure that the baby is safe and secure in the death-trap of a vehicle, we think that it’s really time to start buckling the little wriggler in as he struggles to pull himself out of the safety chair and peer out of the bucket seat.
There was a period where I’ll admit that we never had the baby harnessed while he was in the car seat, because prior to him gaining his mobility, he would just.. LIE there. No fuss and no muss.
But now, that he’s just so inquisitive and curious about things that are going on we have no choice.
I would actually feed him in the car and while I was feeding him I’d think up all sorts of nasty situations, as if we’d got into an accident, and wonder how da hell I would save him if we were all being tossed and tumbled dry in the cabin of the car.
Not a lot of the imaginary scenarios ended very well, what with my husband reminding me that with the amount of force we would be thrown about in the event of getting into an accident, chances were that we might end up squashing him even if we were able to hold him safe.
So yup. Harnessing time. And no babywearing in the car either, for that matter. That little booth that the bub sits in is crucial to his survival in the event of getting rear-ended.
Lord knows we don’t want to have to worry about him being tumbled about without the protective padding of his safety chair….
And even though this is obviously the more scary side of the spectrum, what with the recent news about faulty lifts moving while people are stepping into it and mothers thrusting their toddlers to safety while stepping off the escalator I really just don’t want to think about the possibility of things happening.
CHOY CHOY CHOY CHOY and TOUCH WOOD!
As scary as things are, I can only do my best to keep my baby safe. And while I don’t mind him getting out there and learning about all he can learn, it still hurts to see my baby in pain.
Especially right now. When he’s still so fragile that my heart breaks when I hear the sound of him hitting the floor when he rolls off the bed. Even when I was a new mum in the first few weeks of getting to the little fella. Even if tears were shed when he was hungry or had uncomfortable gas or a wet diaper…
I guess this is what it means to be a parent and truly love somebody this much.
Well, that all being said, I’ve just got to keep my eyes more peeled, and really start developing those motherhood skills that include a danger radar and leave it to God’s providence to send his guardian angels to watch us and keep us from harm 🙂
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Keeping the safety on,