Feeling: Hackles raised..
So the last week, the hubs and I were having some major discussions on the future of our house and home and it’s led to some pretty huge revelations for the family.
When we bought our home, we were lucky enough to not need any major renovation work – our walls were white-washed, there were sitting toilet bowls in the bathrooms, the tiles weren’t too horrendous and the cupboards were pretty decent.
It was just a simple matter of tearing down some shelving and putting our own up where we wanted it.
DIY and done, thank you very much.
And we were very lucky to have a bunch of strong friends who helped us practically ship in every chair and table that we have in the house too. Not to mention assemble cupboards and bed frames too….
And our little cosy home has been our pride and joy precisely because we were the ones who put in the effort to get it looking and feeling the way that it does now.
Thing is, that the HDB block is older than I am, and that means that even thought the previous owner did her own fixer-upper renovations a few years ago, there are a helluva lot of things which are just happily falling apart now.
So to the chagrin of our bank accounts, we need to take out a HUGE ASS wad of money (and probably a bank loan while we’re at it too) to get everything fixed up now.
While we’re a little anxious about spending the money, we’re excited about the possibilities that this will open up to us.
I’ve always wanted to have a bathtub to bathe my kiddies in. I’ve always imagined suds and rubber duckies and funny foam beards and hats and all sorts of antics going on in the tub.
Little alcoves for reading, and given the amount of books that I’ve amassed over the years, I think I might be able to squeeze a floor to ceiling library too.
These were some of the most fondest moments of my childhood and I’ll be damned (or at least pretty damn depressed) if I couldn’t somehow arrange for experiences like these for my children too.
So it’s been months and weeks of discussions and throwing ideas around so that we can finally get a design that everybody agreed on, in terms of feasibility, design and general affordability too.
We had originally planned for the whole renovation deal to be done by the time the baby was born, but due to some unforeseen dalliances, nothing happened until now, almost a year later. And considering that this renovation has been a long time coming, we’re more than excited that we’re FINALLY going to see some movement in the whole operation.
Now all the renovation nitty gritty aside, the really big issue here, is moving back into an extended relative’s house.
While I’m truly grateful that we have a ready roof over our heads, and space to store our things while all the hacking, drilling and toxic chemicals are working their magic at our house, I’m not entirely excited about the prospect of going to stay with someone who has been calling me names.
Terrible incident(s) aside, it is also going to be very different living with a person who I feel is used to people jumping to attention and having their every word listened to and followed without question.
I’m much more a let’s talk it out if we disagree kind of person so being docile and just following orders is really not my style.
Needless to say, it’s more than just a clash of ideas for the parties involved, but more of a clash of personalities that we’re going to have to live with and survive, for the next 3-4 odd months.
And all for the betterment of our family home.
I mean, besides the move itself and trying to get the whole house organized in time with a baby and a dog in tow, I worry about what will change when we finally move in – that our schedules are going to get thrown off because the baby’s timetables aren’t respected, that I’m going to have to watch the baby like a hawk doubly hard to make sure that he isn’t suddenly spoiled to an oblivion, and obviously the issues about privacy….
And these are the very least of my problems since I’m going to have to tiptoe around all these issues and hold my tongue because I don’t want nor need another blow out with these people after the last one that we had.
My husband definitely doesn’t deserve that either I think.
But despite all the things that I (most certainly) have to say about how I think the next quarter of the year is going to go, I know that this small blip in the life plan is just that – a small blip.
Hell, there are going to be plenty of things like this that life is going to throw at us that we’re just going to have to learn to deal with.
I mean, we’re going to have to go through a lot of other tough decisions in the future and of course that means that there are tough consequences that we’ll have to work through in other to better ourselves and our situations.
Suffering through a horrible work situation or unsuccessful projects at work for the paycheck it brings at the end of the month, dealing with waking up early for school at ungodly hours so that the bub can get a good education, finding time to exercise and going through the physical pain of exertion for that bikini bod….
That’s what life is about isn’t it.
It’s all about how you can balance the stress versus the reward – knowing what to suffer through and managing expectations so that you get to the big pay off at the end..
And in all of it, I’m reminded of how God works in our life and that all of these events that happen, happen for a reason.
I mean, I know that it’s not right for me to say that moving back into the house is a trial and I know I’m probably making it sound more horrible than it is, but I think I need a bit of time to work through my feelings towards the extended family.
So justly, in an ironic lesson, it seems like God’s plan for my life is to put me into a situation where I’m going to have to confront the whole issue of animosity head-on – in a 3 month stint in a small confined space with said parties with whom there is disgruntlement…
Poetic justice in a sense?
And moving on, what’s more important than how I feel about the whole thing, is that I know that there’s a lesson behind it somewhere. That in the 3 months, I’m going to learn to be more tolerant and accepting of the situations that God puts me into and hopefully be able to understand more about how I can come away from the whole experience as a better person.
The word that I have in my mind is about how God is like a refiner’s fire. That while the things that he puts us through, burns us and turns up the heat, it tests our mettle too and rids us of “impurities” so that when we make it through the trial, we are better for it.
So yes. Let’s bring it on and be prepared for whatever is to come when all hell breaks loose in 2 weeks time…
Let’s get packing,