Feeling: SO ACCOMPLISHED.
Here we are.
A week after the big birthday.
And the day after a HUMUNGOUS January baby party that saw 120 January mummies come together to celebrate a Grand Ball for all out little bubbas…
(Please don’t ask me to translate! lol)
With so many thoughts running through my head and the celebrations and all that I’ve experienced with my bub the past year, it would be a total disservice not to write something down about this momentous time in his life.
It’s been one whole year of change.
Learning how to be a parent, adjusting my life to accommodate this little person and doing my best to ensure that the decisions I make lead to the best possible outcomes for him and the rest of my family.
It’s a year of learning how to be a person for him, adjusting to the things that go on in the world around him and finding his place in it all. Not to mention getting the hang of his limbs in order to enjoy it all better!
We have both come a long way from out first meeting..
..from this tiny helpless thing that could hardly open his eyes and control his own reflexes, to a being that teeters and totters on his feet, reaching out to grab everything and trying to understand how they work through inquisitive eyes.
Every day I’m in awe of him.
It’s only right that a baby should really celebrate their first birthday. It’s a true revelry of how much he has achieved since that first day of entering this world.
Besides the parents, nobody sees the battles with sickness that worries the parents half to death, nobody sees how hard the baby struggles to sit up and roll over and prop himself up, nobody understands how a baby struggles to comprehend and convey his thoughts when he can’t speak, nobody notices the little irritating white buds of teeth that start to poke through as the birthday nears, and I think a lot of people are pretty damn happy that they didn’t have to witness those explosive poo sessions and clear up the aftermath!
One year of successfully navigating through all of that, and we most definitely need to put a day aside to celebrate it all, if we’re not popping champagne and breaking out the cigars while we’re at it too!
But at this point, there’s something else that’s food for thought, the baby’s birthday is really not just a moment for him to enjoy.
Yes, sure it’s all about him. He’s in the limelight, basking in all the attention and reveling in all the presents. But besides all that he’s achieved, his success is the parents’ crowning glory too – and I’m sure that the hubs and I are happy to take the backseat.
The experience of having a baby is really A LOT of ups and downs.
I think about all the things that I’ve gone through with the baby in the past year and besides all the physical changes, it’s the emotional experiences that I try hardest not to forget. I remember a year ago I was apprehensive about being pregnant, about whether I would be a good parent or not.
As the first people on the receiving end of all the baby’s confusion and frustration, we have our own struggles. With our temper and our absolute frustration at not knowing what to do at times.
If you’ve ever been stuck with a crying baby that you can’t quiet, you’d know what I’m talking about. It’s not even about the crying which grates on your ears, but the fact that the wails get more insistent and frantic as everything you try falls short of what the baby wants. The fact that you can’t do anything to make the crying stop. That’s what strikes you in the heart.
Let me tell you after one whole year of second-guessing myself and trying to figure out whether I’m doing the right thing or not, it’s as much of a relief for me to hit the one year mark as it is for the bub to reach it!
And that being said, I can see why some parents stop at 1.
It’s a whole Singaporean thing to ask people when they’re going to have another one. Even if they’ve had 3 or 4, the question is always – so are you going to have another?
I was fairly surprised that the hubs and I weren’t being questioned about having another at the big weekend dos to be honest. That being said, we agreed a while back to wait for the one year mark to start trying again so that there’d be a decent gap between the two .
But again, having just hit the one year milestone, it seems funny to want to move along so quickly with welcoming another addition to the family.
I am hearing stories from friends that have kids that are all in the schooling stage – the youngest having just popped off to nursery to join the older kiddos. There is a huge feeling of relief. About how they finally have their mornings back. About how they don’t have to deal with the night-wakings anymore. That the kids can finally understand what you say, even if they’re arguing back or refusing to listen to what you’re saying..
They’re not looking forward to going backwards in time when they have another one more and have to start the whole cycle again.
Put in the wise words of a friend “I’m just starting to enjoy my evening wines again! Why would I give that up?!”
And yet there will always be this wistfulness – that the kids are growing up way too fast. That gone are the days when they were smaller and less of a handful. How nice it was to have a baby who would just LIE there instead of running around the house like a mad chicken, asking a gazillion questions about everything and totally invading your private toilet time…
Actually I find that being a parent means taking all of that as part and parcel of the whole growing up experience right? Well, I say that I’m going to embrace all of that now, but let’s see again when I get there….
For now, I’m content to enjoy my 1 year old bubby and let nature take its course.
After all, we’ve only just begun baby. I see so much more happening for us in the years to come, with or without siblings. Waiting for you to talk to me and for us to have conversation about your day and what your ambitions are. For you as an adult and going through important life decisions, I hope that I’ll be able to pass down some knowledge that will help you in all these times….
There’s so much that I wish for you and pray for you to have… That you’ll grow up strong in mind and body, that you’ll have dreams and the courage to chase them, that you will love deep and hard and be able to let things go if they don’t work out. That you will laugh and be happy with everything that comes along your way, but you will embrace the times that you need to cry and learn from your mistakes..
There is SO MUCH in store for you and I. And we’ll take what the good Lord has to give us 🙂
So much of life ahead,