Feeling: Out of sorts
I wonder what happened last week that I forgot that I needed to do a blog post of my own. Perhaps I was so happy that my husband guest-posted that I thought I would take an extended break myself.
I feel a little bit thrown out of whack because the flow of things feels a little off and now that I remember that I didn’t write last week, I hope that things will start feeling a little bit normal again.
You know that feeling that you get when you NEED to remember to do something but for the life of you, your memory seems to keep failing to bring up what you need?
Because there is something out-of-place, everything else seems to follow that skewed view and everything you do just feels a little funny.
Yeah. That. For a week.
I think it’s because there are a lot of things coming up for the family in the next few weeks. Papa is continuing his charge into Remedial Training with the army every Monday so that he finishes his required 20 sessions before his next birthday. And Mama has to start heading into office to finish her required 20 or so plus plus plus plus hours of training so that she doesn’t lose her insurance license.
So that means we’ll have to step out of our regularly scheduled home programming to head out of the house while bub stays home with grandma.
And that reminds me that even while I’ve been feeling out of sync with things, I have to be very grateful for how everything else seems to have fallen into place..
I know that I complain about this whole conundrum – that I need to do work at home and that I don’t really pay my bub the attention he deserves because there are deadlines to be met. But it’s times like this that make me really grateful for how things have worked out for us.
I was talking to a friend recently about playgroups and preschools and how some mums don’t have a choice but to enrol their kids into a school even before their first birthday – there just isn’t any other option since both parents need to go to work anyway.
But it’s not really as bad as you’d think.
Sure keeping bub at home is lovely, and saves you money as long as you have somebody who can help you look after him, but as the bub grows up quicker and becomes smarter and more inquisitive, what exactly are you going to do to make sure your bub stays occupied?
Schools have entire curriculum and time tables and schedules to ensure that your child is properly entertained and educated when you put your child with them. Can we really do better at home?
We are certainly blessed that my mum is able to look after the bub for me when I need to run out for meetings or to see my clients.
We’ve even seemingly settled into a nice routine – grandma comes over every other day to help me look after and entertain the bub while I get work done at home, and the days that I don’t have help at home, I try to bring the bub out to a playground or something in the waking hours and get work done when he’s asleep.
Or do my best to keep him entertained at home with bricks and blocks and stuffed.
*Note to self – it needs to be more than entertainment soon and more about education*
But moving on, we don’t have to worry about some stranger baby-sitting my child. We haven’t had to worry about taking in a full-time helper, YET. I don’t have to stress over training a new maid and making sure the house is in running order, and I certainly don’t have to freak out every time I leave the house because I have absolute trust in my mum watching over her grandchild.
There’s this other video circulating Facebook at the moment, about how a little girl got molested at her preschool and the teachers were not being accountable. This amongst many, many others that talk about how unreliable or untrustworthy this and that preschool is. That principals and teachers are not compassionate or effective.
I’ve heard friends saying that they went to visit infantcare centres and they just felt so heartbroken because the teachers are so busy warming milk and changing diapers that the babies don’t get stimulation at all..
I’m not saying that putting your child in a school is bad, there are definitely some which are much better at looking after kids than others, of course. And as I mentioned, some parents really don’t have much of a choice since they are both working and their parents might not be able to help them out with looking after the kiddos.
But I’m just glad that I don’t have to worry about this kind of thing at the moment. We are truly blessed that we don’t have to think about the options if I had to work on a full-time basis.
Sure having a maid at home is going to be an eventuality – there is absolutely NO way that I’ll be able to take care of things at home when there is BOTH a newborn and a toddler running around headless at home.
To those mamas who are currently doing all that as a stay-at-home mama, I take my hat off.
Anyway, it will eventually be a hurdle that we’ll have to cross and hopefully coupled with preschool, we’ll start to see the adults getting some time back to themselves.
I’ve been talking with friends about how I’m dreaming about getting my morning workout routine back once the bub(s) are all packed off and in school….
Ah, to go running in the mornings again…
But for the moment, we’re happy where we are, I guess.
As it is, I don’t look forward to leaving the house even though I know that we have my mum to stay at home and look after the bub.
Whatever the situation may be, I don’t think any parent would choose to leave their children if they could help it. Especially not when they are at this age of wonder and exploration.
Every day is a learning experience, and if you blink, you’ll miss out all these new things that they’re learning. And there’s no getting those first moments back.
My hubs said something when we first had our bub that has stuck with me until now – that now I have a baby, the best part of the day is when I leave work and I come home. But for an entirely different reason – it’s knowing that I have something to look forward to when I walk into the house.
If only there were a way that I could stay at home with the bub without having to worry about the consequences. I would love to research new things for the bub to do on a daily basis.
But alas, again, when you need the extra income, there’s not much of a choice but to work. As it is, there are people out there who don’t have a choice to work because they can’t afford preschool and they can’t afford help too….
Each mother and father’s situation is so different. Everyone has their own struggles with what they can or can’t do. But whatever the situation may be, a parent does what they need to to give their kids the best care and protection until they can take care of themselves right?
We leave it to God, who holds all his plans for our future in his hands. He knows what we need and will provide for us so that we grow just how we need to 🙂
So while there isn’t a way out of the work and training requirements I have, I will hold what my hubs has been saying dear in my heart as I go out for meetings later.
After all, it’s just a small sacrifice in the grander scheme of things which is your child’s well-being.
Wearing the Adult-hat,