Feeling: Happy and Pleased
What a difference a year makes, when you get to celebrate Mother’s Day in a simple way with the people that love you.
No terrible incidents this year, just good company, relatively decent food, and an uninterrupted meal, thanks to the bub falling asleep just before we arrived at our lunch destination.
Couldn’t get much more perfect than that really!
In any case, I was feeling a little apprehensive a few days ago before the weekend.
Given what happened the last year, I was looking forward to being able to spend the year a bit differently and the hubs and I opted to celebrate a bit more intimately this year.
The whole commercial hype about Mother’s Day was really started kicking in for me when I starting seeing my friend online getting little trinkets and crafts from their children who attend daycare or preschools.
It’s become a Valentine’s Day of sorts the way that flowers and “being thankful for your mum” is so much more emphasized on this special day.
And I ashamedly admit that I was buying into the whole schpiel despite telling myself repeatedly that the child is gift enough. I mean, I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU GONNA GIMME *ahem*
I mean, have you seen the handmade presents on your own Facebook feeds yet? Doesn’t it just warm the cockles of your heart to know that there’s be a little bit of father-son art and craft in your day?
No matter how badly drawn, or messy or mismatched the little present will be, it’s all from the heart and every bit of it will be treasured in a protective plastic cover in a box of other specially wrapped from my-child-to-me presents.
But in truth, it’s really the thought that counts isn’t it and do I really need presents from my kids?
I have to admit that I’ve always dreamed about having breakfast in bed. It’s a very Americanised idea I think, but that didn’t stop me from fantasizing about being lazy the whole damn day when I finally got around to having people in the house who would cook for me.
Until of course remembering that I’m OCD about hygiene and would absolutely detest having to eat if I haven’t gotten around to brush my teeth yet haha.
I’ve never thought much of my own cooking in any case. I never made my mum a breakfast, or any food of any sort, lest she end up with a case of the runs. But that being said, it’s times like this where I think back about what I’ve done for my own mum now that I’m a mother myself.
My mum has always told me not to get her things. Most mums tend to say this, to save their children the trouble of going out to get thing, but of course when my brother and I was younger we ignored all of that and got her little trinkets and handmade cards and all that. When we knew better about saving money, we graduated to jewelry, and sometimes gave her an ang pao too.
Granted we were not the most well-off when we were younger, but we didn’t really want for anything. We had enough for us to go for school trips overseas, for my brother to stay in the boarding house for school, to get the recommended enrichment classes and tuition sessions and to buy the equipment for the extra curricular activities of our choice.
It’s not too much to put our heads together and come up with something thoughtful to thank the most important person in our young lives for all the sacrifices and things that she has done for us, right?
But she always insists that she doesn’t want anything from us and I’m not sure whether it’s all the years of saying it, but we’ve become lazy and boiled the whole affair down to a lunch and a hug.
I feel a little guilty about it – that we don’t do MORE, but there is a certain ritual about it when we plan a nice lunch and get my mum out of the house to a relatively nice (and borderline expensive) sit down dinner.
At the end of the day, being a mother is a pretty thankless job, don’t I know it. I’ve barely had 2 years of motherhood and already I know about the sleepless nights and temper tantrums and like I was complaining about even during my pregnancy, the dead social life and restrictions in eating, drinking and general health and well-being that you place on yourself so that you can set a good example for the life that you’re bringing into the world.
Being a mum is really so many things. Tiredness from the running around, Exasperation from nobody ever listening to you, Anxiety and Worry because we overthink all the things that could happen because people don’t listen to us…..
And that’s what being a mother is really all about anyway right? It’s all about the unconditional love that drives us to
suffer do all of this for the little person that you brought into the world, without ever expecting anything in return.
Hell, we’d do all of that with a smile on our face if it means that our little ones will grow up perfect, smart, strong, healthy and loved by others around him or her.
When you decided to have the child and bring him or her to term in your belly, that is your commitment that whether or not you have a child that was good, or bad, or pretty or ugly, whether you got a doctor, a lawyer, a thief or a murderer, you would love them, no matter what.
But hopefully you brought them up well enough to not be any of the latter of course.
And besides, it really is more than just presents and a physical gift. It’s knowing that our child is healthy and wealthy in more than just earthly riches. I mean, I would LOVE to receive gifts and cards and things but it truly isn’t necessary anymore.
While being a mother can’t be defined by words because the experience itself is indescribable, it’s something that has become who I am and I’ll be embracing that new part of my life forevermore.
So to all of the other mothers out there who are being appreciated and loved by your families the past week, here’s a big hug and a pat on the back to say – you’ve survived another year of the most amazing journey you’ll ever go through.
And there’s lots more coming up from the little terrors in your life too 😉
Happy Mother’s Day!