Feeling: Excited for Change
***FIRST AND FOREMOST****
A disclaimer seems necessary because people are definitely going to be asking me questions after this post. I AM NOT currently pregnant. We are not yet actively trying yet either, although we may be soon. I’m just logging my thoughts on what it would be like to have more in the making. Please do not treat this post as an admission or permission to discuss the state of my womb. Thankyouverymuch 😀
**And back to regular programming**
A lot of people have been asking me whether I’m pregnant again, or when I’m going to be trying for my next one since our bub is coming to 2.
Considering how much I made a fuss about all of this a year ago and how I hated people asking me about when I was going to have a baby, when the baby is due or whether I’ve bought this or that and how the baby is doing (kill me now), in the same fashion, I should be ready to rip someone and everyone a new one.
But strangely, I found a need to blog about this because I’m not.
I’m actually kind of enjoying that people are asking me about it now.
Okay, maybe “enjoying” is a very strong word.
I’m more like nonchalant and expectant. And I don’t feel all affronted about having to answer questions about my future brood.
I’d like to say that it’s perhaps I’ve learnt how to better take things in my stride. But maybe it’s just the right people asking me at the right time so I don’t chew their heads off.
Looking back, what I’ve noticed is that most of the time, it does seem to be another mama who has a bub about the same age as mine that seems to be doing the asking. Like when people are in the same boat, thinking about the same things, it probably seems a lot less intimidating to be answering or even discussing the topics which would be taboo most of the time.
I mean, nobody like stepping in a minefield right? I’m sure nobody wants to ask a question which they know they might get in trouble for for asking.
But when you are comrades in the same fight, it’s that much easier to talk about the scary things. Like whether you’ll actually be able to afford another baby. Whether you’re willing to go through the sleepless nights and booby aches and the whole stress of carrying a tiny human life in your body all over again.
*wistful sigh* Call me ready to have another baby, but all that seriously sounds like bliss already to me when I think about my bub having a little playmate to run around with and love and kiss.
On another note, and in the same line about having siblings, perhaps it’s because I’ve developed a mechanism of my own to cope with what I see as a question that comes across as a personal attack and inquiry.
Simply, I tell people that I want 4.
Yes. 4 screaming, squalling, squabbling, sticky, scrambling, silly and SATISFYING children.
Okay, to be honest, the official discussion with the hubs was that we wanted 2, with a provision for a third one in case accidents happen. I mean, in this day and age AND coupled with living in Singapore, who can in all honesty, afford more than ONE.
There’s the hospital bills and maternity fees, the diapers, the clothes, the school and further schooling. We’re lucky we haven’t had to spend on milk yet, but that’s a huge consideration in case something goes differently the second time around…
It’s daunting to think about but I’m not lying when I say that I really, really wouldn’t mind a huge family.
To be honest, a lot of my friends seem to be thinking about more than 2 too, we’re all wonderfully patriotic Singaporeans ah. They tell us to stop at 2 we stop. Now they tell us to grow our families and I swear all the propaganda is having its intended effect as I see friends having a 3rd one all of a sudden after they said they wanted to close the factory.
And no, these bundles of joy aren’t accidents either.
Despite the fights and jealousy and all the probable issues that the children might face growing up with more in the household, I think that having a sibling is a rite of passage.
My hubs grew up as an only child, but he was never lonely, having lots of cousins around the same age to play with. These days as the family size of Singaporeans are dwindling, I think that the link with our kids’ cousins are too far and in between for there to be the kind of bonding that brothers and sisters would have.
I watched this video the other day and while I don’t expect to have a family as big as this one, I certainly hope that I’ll be able to nurture my kids in a way that they will love and embrace and open their arms wide to welcome any other addition into our family as they are blessed to us.
But back to my story, I’ve always thought about having 4 – 2 boys and 2 girls, in staggered ages so that they will always have a partner to talk about things with, and in all times of dire need, I can chuck all the kids into a room with a board game, and there’ll be enough players for them to keep themselves self-entertained for a few hours while Papa and I go paint the town red.
But alas, as I mentioned, the heart is willing, the body maybe not so, and the wallet is running away at the mere mention of conception.
Well, in all things, we leave our cares and concerns in the hands of the Lord.
Through the last year, he has provided well enough for us that we’ve never had to worry too much about affording the necessities for our little bub. If it’s within his will to bless us with more, this year, next year and the years after that, there must be a divine plan in it all somewhere.
In the meantime, I’m happy to be at a stage where I am embracing this motherhood section in my journey of life. So well that I’m actually thinking about doing it twice over.
I never thought that I would take to being a mum this well to be honest. And testament to that is there are obviously still some things that still irritate me though.
While I have become a lot more accepting about comments, it doesn’t mean I’m just going to let everything that’s said to me slide. I still get rather bristly when some Aunty, no matter how long I’ve known her, and it’s ALWAYS a “her” and not an uncle, reaches over to touch his face or stroke his arm for no apparent reason.
Like hello, would you like me manhandling your body parts and molesting your face? At any age, it is NOT appropriate to reach out and just TOUCH people, gedditinyourheadddddd!
That and judgmental comments.
It’s perfectly alright to ask me about my plans and how I’m coping with being a mum and all that. But anything along the lines of “you should have done this” or “how come you are doing that”…
In any case, I look forward to seeing how the future unfolds. The husband and I are starting to prepare our hearts and minds, and the bank accounts for the eventuality that we will conceive. Whether next month or next year, we want to grow our little family and we need to do our best that we are prepared for whatever comes our way.
It helps that we’ve done it once before, and we know a little bit more about what to expect, but still, wish us luck!
The more we get together,