Feeling: a tad depressed but not letting that get in my way of starting the new week right!
One week in and I may not be in the holiday mood anymore, but the reality of starting the week again still hits me hard.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has Monday Blues and honestly I really shouldn’t be all that blue since I don’t actually have to go to work (HAHA).
*ahem* moving on, I was actually asked to do an as-many-days-as-you-can thankfulness challenge.
You know how there are so many of these 100 day challenges going around to try and get you to do something different for yourself. There are 100 day cleanses and 100 day fitness thing, or like abstain from this or that for 100 days…
I’ve always shyed away from doing all these because hey, what is life if you can’t indulge a little and eat and drink what you like. Save for the time that I did 2 and a half cycles of insanity to drop 8kg for my wedding, yeah, I’m all for living life.
Off topic: That shit WORKS. Shaun T and his series of sometimes hilarious *cough*hip-hop abs *cough* workouts are DA BOMB.
But this thankfulness challenge holds no threat to my indulgence, and I figured I was starting to get a little depressed at the way things have been looking on the horizon, that it wouldn’t hurt to give myself a little pick-me-up in a way that would force me to re-examine the wonderful things that are happening in my life.
This Thankfulness challenge has only just begun, but already I can feel the good feelings seeping into my soul. Not a moment too late really.
It’s actually quite difficult to be an idealist these days. Not everyone is out there hoping and wishing the best for you and everyone around you. Hell, with the amount of scams currently going on these days and in the news – can you say DHL? – it’s not easy to imagine that half of the world is more inclined to be out to get you and the other half is out to profit from your failure.
Skepticism and cynicism is the language of the day and it’s perfectly natural to suspect an ulterior motive or an element of falsehood from something you encounter in your daily life.
But I endeavour to be idealistic – not so much that I’ve got some lucky star or blessed angel looking out for me, but to take things lighter, and brighter and not see that the world is against me in everything that I do. Of course, not to the point that I would get swindled of course. Being positive doesn’t mean being stupid.
And I don’t see why I shouldn’t be thinking that way – positively.
I mean, what will you get out of thinking the worst of people. Sometimes looking at something at its face value and not over thinking the meaning of it all can be a lot healthier than trying to dig deeper and looking for an explanation for everything.
If something seems to be good, or makes you happy, for example if you read that an article that makes you think and feel that you can do something to make a change in your life or someone else’s life then why not just let it be? Who cares if the article is fake or wasn’t actually written by the person that the article claims to be written by.
It’s the message that really matters isn’t it?
But back to my challenge, I just hope that this exercise thankfulness translates into something more – hopefully I’m reminded enough of why I should be loving theses people that I’ll end up showing actual face-to-face appreciation instead of just words on my social media page.
And while I’m at it, before I get around to action over words, I’ve actually already thanked my mum and my husband and God for giving me these 2 pillars of strength but it seems that there is a lot more to be said about how important it is to have someone who loves you, someone who is around to support you.
Whether my partner or my mother, I would be at a loss if I didn’t have these 2 around, there are no words to describe the immense amount of love and help and support that they have showered upon me and in my life.
Not just listening to me and helping my dreams move along, providing intelligent discourse and discussion about major decisions and points of change in my life but sometimes just standing there and lending a listening ear while I bitch about someone, or even letting me rail at them too.
But nowadays, with the little one in the house, there’s no surprise for in which area they are blessing me the most.
Without either of them around, I would be tearing out my hair or locking myself in the cupboard at the risk of health and sanity from having to deal with the bub all alone.
That’s not saying that I don’t enjoy looking after my son, of course I do. But everyone needs a little solitude once in a while right?
You know all those articles about how introverted people need time to recharge away from contact with other people – yeah. That’s me alright. And with a little person in the house who can walk and now run, and heaven forbid he learn how to open our doors, I’ll take whatever privacy I can get thanks.
Companionship doesn’t quite come easy to me though and it takes a while to fall into an easy relationship with anyone. For example, when I was serving my confinement suddenly my mum was back in my house to help. Not only that but there’s this new tiny person in your home – not just a stranger, but your flesh and blood someone who absolutely REQUIRED your round the clock care.
It was a trying time having my mum around when the hubs and I had been living on our own for a while. And trust me, there was LOTS of fighting, trying to agree about the best way to do things and make sure that the house continued to be kept in order…
Let’s just say that any animosity between my mum and me was magnified a few fold because we were back under the same roof again. Coupled with post-delivery hormones. Well – TIUBABOM *explosion* is all I can say.
With my entire schedule and way of life thrown out of whack, I was ready to go mad dealing with the change. I’m sure I would have if I didn’t have people around me.
But like I said, having people around who love me enough to let me rage and silently fume and throw tantrums and ugly cry every other hour about how things will never be the same again….. Although I may never have said as much then, it really helped to have not just anyone, but my husband and my mother around, taking care of me and making sure that I looked after myself while I started to adjust to my new role being a mother.
Not just in confinement and in parenthood though, LIFE itself can be daunting. And it can feel absolutely lonely when you are under the impression that you have no confidant, that you are “in it” alone and by yourself.
Ironically although I need solitude to feel refreshed and to get their thoughts in order, I would be lost if I didn’t have people who I can love and trust around me in all other times.
Balance is key.
This whole thankfulness exercise reminded me of something that my cell leader shared with our group one evening. He said that one day he was feeling absolutely shitty, things weren’t going well and he didn’t feel good about anything that was going on in his life. But he was prompted by God to just spend some time in a garden, or in a park and have a bit of Quiet Time – just being in God’s presence.
He said he ended up just sitting on a bench and he felt the need to tell God about what he was thankful for in his life. In this time where he didn’t know what to be thankful for, he ended up spending an hour or so just reeling off on the things in his life that he felt blessed with.
It started off easy of course, to be thankful for the things that made you happy, that you couldn’t live without. But he found that once he got to the end of the list of those things, he started thanking God for the difficulties and hardships in his life too.
For every problem that he was given, he could see how he grew through having that problem in his life and as he learnt how to be more dependent on God for a solution, he found the peace, wisdom and maturity to deal with a situation in a way that wasn’t rash and un-Christian-like.
Granted that I’m still in my early days, I know that I want to be more thankful for everything that comes my way. It’s the good AND the bad in my life that make me the person that I am today.
I hope that one day I can instill this sort of reverance and thoughtfulness into my bub too, of course. In every situation that comes along his way, I pray that God gives him the level-headedness to make the most of it because after all, not every day is Sunday, you’re not going to have a lucky break all the time, and it’s the way that you deal with problems and setbacks along the way that make you stronger!