Feeling: apprehensive yet excited
A lot of people have been asking when are we going to start planning for another baby and to be honest, the hubs and I are actually really, really excited to start trying.
Unfortunately I won’t be able to write a long post about this today either because I have to run to office in the afternoon so that means that I’m just going to pen down some ideas and quell some suspicions and manage some expectations today.
Last week I was talking a little bit about how we’re looking into putting James into a preschool and honestly, a lot of it was revolving along the fact that we would have a second baby along the way by the time that he started school.
We have kinda talked about the importance of spending those first few days trying to get used to having 2 tiny tots around and a lot of me is saying that I want to give my second bub as much individual love as I can.
Knowing that I have a bigger toddler who experienced being an only child for a fair amount of time around makes me feel like I’ll have to worry a lot about jealousy and not wanting to share and confusion about why there is something else in the house that demands mummy’s attention and how I’m going to deal with all of that too when the time comes.
So getting bub #1 out of the house for a few hours will give bub-1 a bit of time to recalibrate and it will also give me a chance to focus my full attention and efforts on giving bub-2 some of that all-important mummy time.
I know that fobbing bub-1 off to daycare really isn’t the way that we should be treating the whole situation, but hey, there’s only one of me to go around and while I would love to split myself in 2 or 3 or 4, it’s really a matter of making the most of the situation.
Part of me knows that bub-1 is likely to realise that there are other things going on that might be a bit more interesting than a baby brother or sister who can barely do anything but eat, poop and sleep.
But as much as I can, I do hope that the family will settle into an easy balance between the 2 kiddos when they are first introduced to each other and when they first meet each other.
Besides the hoards of aunties and other well-meaning parents of 2 and more who are constantly asking us about when we’re going to have more kids, there are also my buddy mummies of 1 who keep dreading the time when they have to deal with 2.
If having one screaming ,tantrum-throwing baby is a headache, then you can imagine trying to deal with 2. Not to mention even trying to go out or handle anything at home while one is pulling you left and the other is pulling you right.
Lots of them are saying to let’s keep the age gap wider so at least my older child will be able to understand what’s going on and will be more independent by that time – hopefully he or she can go to the toilet and maybe even help mummy with looking after their baby brother or sister.
I’ve always wanted my kids to be close though. Not necessarily in terms of age, but in terms of camaraderie in the home. But I do feel that kids who are born closer together will tend to be that much closer to each other. Perhaps because they’re able to share the same life stages and know the same friends.
I have a younger brother. Lord knows we’re not the closest of siblings now because we’re adults and we lead our own lives. We never really talked about school or what we did outside school, but we were close enough I suppose.
We loved each other that’s for sure and we would make jokes and sing the same songs in the car and beat each other up once in while too. We kinda ended up with a few friends in the same circles too.
And I hope that at least for our kids when our little family starts to grow, that they’ll be bale to say that they wouldn’t be able to live without their brother(s) anad/or sister(s).
Having a sibling around is having someone you can nudge and giggle with at family gatherings, someone you can play games with at home and talk to about other things that go on in your family, and knowing that even when your parents are old and almost gone, you will have someone you can count on to talk to and reminisce about the good old times.
Siblings are one of God’s little blessings, and I most definitely want my kids to be blessed if not more than twice and 3 times over.
I don’t really know what to think when it comes to raising a family of more than 1 though .
Just like being new parents I think that bringing up a second child is going to be as complicated and as equal an unprecedented experience for the hubs and I.
We’re deathly afraid of the costs most of all but again, just like what we were worried about when we were pregnant the first time, if we’re constantly thinking about the money we need to spend on our brood, we would eventually be so scared to have children altogether.
We have to believe and trust in God that if he blesses us with more, that he has a plan for us to be able to manage too. We don’t doubt that he will provide for us if and when he decides to give us more kids.
Until then, we’ll be trusting in his divine plans for us and hoping for the distant “+” in the future.