Class 5

Hypnobirthing – Lesson 5

This week’s last and final lesson, we learnt more about the actual birthing process on ground zero – labour(ing) day.

As usual we started off with some (semi-horrifying) videos that were kinda a bit creepy but weirdly educational at the same time


it was very surreal. watching this weeks’ videos. It was about conscious birthing and bring aware of what’s going on while giving birth.

There was a mum who let her 2 toddlers watch her birth a baby – there’s NO WAY that I’m going to let me kids do that! I heard from a friend of mine that it can be downright traumatising if your kid is not in the right frame of mind, and how the hell are you going to control what a kid thinks.. I don’t want my children to be scarred for life watching something come out of my hooha thankyouverymuch.

Like I mentioned about all the other videos we watch, birthing is a pretty (if not VERY) GRUESOME event.


so yeah, I don’t think I’m going to want my kids, actually I don’t think I want ANYBODY to be watching my vajayjay when something has to come out of it.

Besides my husband of course. He put something in there, so he jolly well better keep me company while it’s coming out.MUAHAHAHAHA!!

But back to story proper, besides that mother, there was also an orgasmic birth and an open ocean birth.


Open Ocean Birth: so there’s this Russian midwife right, that brings her “clients” who are birthing mothers, to the damn Mediterranean to freaking give birth in the open water.

They sway their hips and with the support of 3 or 4 helpers around them, the baby is released from the womb into the shallows, just like a baby dolphin.

baby swimming

The videos of what came after the birth were really magical. About the babies being one with nature and how we are all born with the natural ability to swim because it’s exactly like that in the womb. but this picture will have to do to illustrate my purposes.

The most amazing part of all of this was that in order to get to the Mediterranean, they are leaving aside all medical assistance. The nearest hospital is apparently MILES away, and if there were special circumstances (complications) arising, and they were to notice this during birth, chances were that they wouldn’t be able to get the medical attention they needed in time.

But according to ze Russian midwife, there was 0% of this ever happening to all the mothers that she coached to birthing… Go figure.

Now the commentary part of this is – DA HELL, birthing blood + Open water…. they never hear about sharks before issit….

shark - LOVE ME


Orgasmic Birth: the woman freaking orgasms while in the throes of labour. Which as wondrous and impossibly unattainable as it may seem, was rather motivating!

I was actually rather stricken by what so many people say about the fine lines between pleasure and pain. And honestly it’s not only convincing that it’s totally up to you to decide which side of the line you want to step into, but it’s entirely proven and believable!

ilikeit when they hit me

So yeah, something to fix my mind into. Technically you’re supposed to train your mind to relax during labour and when the surges come, you tell yourself that the “pains” are good. that it means your body is doing all it can for the baby to come. And that will help to calm your heart and your head and ease the baby from your body.


besides looking at birthing itself, we went through some of the positions we can take while going through labour – that is, IF the doctor even is going to allow you to move around when you’re in the hospital. Apparently a lot of doctors like to strap you down and keep you immobile and have the assumption that you should just stay put and suffer through everything.

but anyway, there are quite a number of positions that you can take up when you’re trying to get the baby to move downwards toward the opening of a whole new world – and largely the focus is on gravitational-assistance where you’re standing (with support) or on all fours etc.

Labour balls and birthing stools help a tonne too apparently so we have to remember to request one of those when we (eventually) decide on which hospital to get to.


One of the biggest reminders that we had in this week’s lessons was to really remember to get our birth plan done up so we can bombard our obgyn with questions and get him to endorse the birth we want for our baby.

Talking about the birth plan in a group this week made it a lot more REAL. It could be because the other couple doing the class with us (just one other couple, so it’s a super small class) is way further along in her pregnancy than I am. So this week when we saw them, I was like OMG you’ve grown so much in 2 weeks!

Not like I haven’t been growing also la, but when your belly is TOTALLY out there, it’s just so MAGICAL..

buddha kitty

We’ve also learnt there is actually a helluva lot of info in the HypnoBirthing book that we’ve really been too busy to get down to reading. A lot of what goes on in the lessons are actually written down in the book if we’d just find the time to read together.

As I’ve said, the husband has been really quite busy and although we try and squeeze in a chapter or 2 of reading together at night before beddy-byes, there are a  LOT of chapters and so little time.

So as this concludes the last Hypnobirthing class, it looks like there’s still a lot of work to do.

I’ll update on the main blog page as we go along, but I hope that I’ve been helpful in highlighting the main points of the class that might encourage more ladies to go for this natural way of giving birth to their babies in a safe and CALM way.


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